The Downfall of the Mighty Saiyajins.
“Ok, here’s the deal,” Goku said. “Bulma and ChiChi will be back from their week long trip in about two hours. If we’re gonna have this welcome back party done in time, we need to each choose a job and get it done as soon as possible.” Everyone thought about what they could do without screwing up. “Ok, who here can cook?” Gohan asked. Everyone exchanged glances. “No one...” Trunks finally said. Gohan thought for a moment. “Ok, the decorations are already up...cooking is all that’s left...so...I guess if we all work at it, someone’s bound to make something edible.” “Ok...” Trunks and Goku reluctantly agreed. “Are you coming Vegeta?” Goku asked as he turned to Vegeta, who was standing off to the side. “Of course not,” he scoffed. “I’m a warrior, not a chef. I don’t even know why I’m here!” Trunks looked back at Vegeta. “Come on father! We need all the help we can get.” Vegeta rolled his eyes and followed them into the kitchen.
The four of them stood there in awe as they looked around the kitchen. “Wow...I’ve never been in here before...” Goku said, completely mesmerized. “What’re you talking about Goku?” Trunks asked in surprise. “You never stop eating! How is it you’ve never been in the kitchen?” Goku turned and pointed to the table. “I’ve always been there while ChiChi did the cooking...I never did it myself!” Everyone slapped their foreheads in frustration. “Well I’ve never done any cooking...” Gohan confessed as he looked over at Vegeta and Trunks. “Don’t look at me,” Vegeta snapped. “I’ve never stepped foot in a kitchen till now.” Trunks nodded. “Same here.”
Everyone went silent and stood there again, not knowing where to start. Goku broke the silence with a laugh. “Oh come on guys, it can’t be that hard!” he chuckled as he walked over to a few appliances. “Just mess around with a few things till you figure out what they do.” Slowly, everyone approached an appliance and examined it. Trunks suspiciously fiddled with the oven, turning the knob and watching in awe as the metal inside turned a bright red. “Wow! Gohan, look!” Gohan walked over and looked in the oven. “Cool!” As they mesmerized over the oven, Goku stood in front of the stove, pondering. He tried turning a knob, but nothing happened. “Hmmm...hey Vegeta, come here.” “What is it Kakarotto?” Vegeta muttered as he walked up beside him. “I can’t figure out why nothing happens when I turn the knob.” Vegeta looked at the stove and pushed on one of the knobs, noticing that the stove made a clicking noise when the knob was pushed in. He pulled back his hand with surprise and the clicking noise stopped. Puzzled, Goku pushed in another knob. Again, it made a clicking noise. “It kinda sounds like a time bomb...” Goku commented as he began to turn the knob while he pushed it in. Suddenly, it started making a sizzling noise as if it would explode. “It IS a bomb!!” Vegeta yelled as he pulled Goku’s hand away from the knob. The sound continued. “HIT THE DIRT!!!!” Goku screamed as he and Vegeta dove to the floor. Trunks and Gohan, who were still studying the oven and the strange heat it emitted, turned in surprise just in time to see a huge flame jump about 8 feet into the air, scorching the ceiling...they too, dove to the floor. After a moment, Goku jumped up and grabbed two potholders. He put them on his hands and started batting at the fire as he ran around the stove, almost as if he were having a boxing match with the flames. Finally, Goku gave up and dove back to the floor next to Vegeta, the potholders were both scorched black. “Can’t you do anything right!?” Vegeta frowned, yelling over the roar of the flames. Goku was too busy blowing on his hands to answer. “I’m going in!” Vegeta shouted as he got up and ran to the sink. He turned on the water and cupped his hands, lunging small amounts of water at the flames, most of which didn’t even make it all the way to the stove. Trunks and Gohan ran over to help. “Hey, what’s this?” Vegeta asked as he grabbed something that looked like a hose nozzle from beside the faucet. He pushed the button and water squirted out, hitting Trunks in the face. “AHHHH!!!!MY FACE!! MY FACE!!” Trunks shouted, dropping to his knees and covering his face with his hands. “I’M MELTING!!!” Goku crawled over to Trunks, staying out of the line of fire and pulled Trunks’ hands away from his face. “You’re not melting,” Goku said. “It’s...it’s water!!” he yelled to Vegeta. Trunks stopped yelling and opened his eyes. “Huh?” Vegeta, who had been terrified that he’d burned his future sons face off, relaxed and turned the nozzle toward the flames. “Mwahahahahahaha!!!!” he laughed psychotically as he doused the flames. “Die! Die!”
Soon, the flames were extinguished. The fire had almost melted the stove completely, and the ceiling had a hole burned through it. “Huh...do you think mom will notice?” Gohan asked, looking at Goku who was still sitting on the floor, holding Trunks’ wrists with the scorched pot holders on his hands. “Umm...naaaa...she always wanted a skylight anyway...” Vegeta was still holding the nozzle in front of him, water dripping from it. He lowered it and looked at Goku. “Kakarotto! Take those ridiculous looking things off your hands! They look like oversized mittens!” Goku looked down at his hands. “Hey! These oversized mittens saved my hands from burning off!” he protested as he took them off. Everyone cautiously looked around. “Hey, what’s that?” Trunks said, pointing to a small box on the counter. “I’ve heard ChiChi call it a microwave.” Goku said as they approached it. “Put something in there.” Gohan suggested. Vegeta walked over to a cabinet and pulled out the first thing he saw...just so happens, it was popcorn. “What’s that?” Goku asked as Vegeta threw it in the microwave. “How should I know?” Vegeta said as he closed the door and pressed the start button. Everyone jumped back when the microwave started to hum, a light turning on inside. “Is it supposed to do that?” Gohan asked. “I guess so...” Goku replied, taking a few steps forward, followed by the others. After a few more seconds, loud popping noises started coming from the microwave as the kernels popped. Everyone froze. “What’s that!?” Trunks asked. “I don’t know!” Vegeta said, eyes widening. “It sounds like whatever you put in there is coming to life, Vegeta!” Gohan said in horror. Everyone gasped. Goku looked around and then ran to retrieve the pot holders, putting them on his hands again as he approached the microwave. “What are you doing, Kakarotto!?” Goku focused on the microwave. “I’m gonna see what's in there...” “No, dad! You’ll be killed!” Gohan cried. He turned and looked at Gohan, a serious, yet horrified expression on his face. “Tell your mother I went down swinging.” he said, turning back to the microwave. Trunks wiped a tear from the corner of his eye. “He’s so brave.” he said in a quivering voice.
Goku slowly reached out and opened the microwave door, grabbing the now puffed up bag of popcorn. He screamed as the popping continued and ran around with it. “I’ve angered it!!!” He turned and tossed it at Vegeta, who involuntarily caught the burning hot bag of popcorn. “AHHHHH!!!” he screamed as he ran around, holding the bag over his head. “It burns!!! It burns!!” Remembering his near fatal brush with face meltage earlier, Trunks covered his face and ran around screaming as well. “My face! Don’t let it near my face!” Goku was also running around screaming, his hands flailing around in the air as he did so. Gohan was terrified as he watched the three warriors run around in horror. He grabbed a broom and ran to Vegeta, who had collapsed to the floor, wrestling with the bag of popcorn. He raised the broom and start beating the bag with it, causing popcorn to fly everywhere. Trunks screamed out as an unpopped kernel hit him in the eye. “Ahhh!!! I’m hit!! I’m hit!!” he cried, dropping to the floor. After a few more beatings, the popcorn bag was destroyed, popcorn was everywhere. Goku walked up behind Gohan, who was shaking with fear. When he felt Goku’s hand on his shoulder, he screamed out and spun around to hit him with the broom, fearing that it was the bag again. “Wait!!” Goku yelled as he grabbed the broom, gently patting Gohan on the head. “It’s ok, son...you got it.” He turned and looked at Vegeta and Trunks. “Are you two ok? Any casualties?” “Man down, man down!” Trunks called, his hand still over his eye. Vegeta got up and ran to the sink, pouring cold water on his burnt hands. Goku walked over to him and held up his hands, that still had the pot holders on them. “Bet you wish you had these oversized mittens now, eh?” “Shut up Kakarotto!” he growled. “You almost killed me back there! I thought you were going down swinging!” “Yeah, well I panicked.” Goku replied as he turned back to the living room that had been destroyed by the rampaging bag of popcorn. “Is Trunks ok?” he asked Gohan, who was kneeled in front of Trunks, examining his eye. “Yeah, I think so. I got out whatever that thing shot into his eye.” Trunks got up, his eye was half shut and watering to the point where it looked like he was crying. “It went for my face! It was jealous! JEALOUS I SAY!” he yelled as he stomped on a few pieces of popcorn, one of which jumped up and hit him in the other eye. “Oh for the love of god!” Trunks cried as he fell back to the ground. “Sneak attack!”
After everyone had recovered, they all regrouped in the kitchen. “Ok, this time, we take proper precautions.” Goku said, as he rummaged through a cabinet, pulling out a bunch of pots and metal tops. He put a pot on Gohan’s head and handed two more to Vegeta and Trunks. “ Put these on, for your own protection.” he said as he placed a pot on his head. They both put them on without arguing and grabbed a few tops to act as shields. “Ok, bring it on!” Vegeta sneered.
All of them approached the oven, which was still on from earlier. “Gohan, go get some food from the fridge, we’ll shove it all in here and hope it doesn’t fight back.” Goku said, opening the door to the oven. “Right.” Gohan said as he ran to the fridge, pulling out a chicken along with a bunch of other things. Quickly, the four of them shoved everything in as fast as possible, and attempted to close the door. “It won’t shut!” Trunks cried. “They’re trying to escape!” Vegeta shouted. Goku took a few steps back. “Oh no you don’t...” he muttered as he rammed into the door, forcing it shut. “Quick, someone get some tape!” he shouted as he struggled to keep the door closed. Vegeta opened a bunch of drawers, throwing items all over the place until he found some duck tape. He ran back to the oven and he and Goku start taping the door shut.
Everyone relaxed when the roll of tape was gone. “I hope that holds.” Goku said, taking a deep breath. The four of them sat on the floor for a rest, gasping for air. “I don’t know how mom and Bulma do it...” Gohan said. “Yeah...but Bulma doesn’t do it very well.” Vegeta commented. Everyone nodded. They rested for about fifteen minutes before another disturbance erupted. “Do you hear that?” Vegeta asked. Everyone listened...then slowly turned to the oven. The door was vibrating and a low rumbling noise was coming from inside. “I don’t like the sound of that...” Goku said as everyone stood. Suddenly, the door flew open and food started flying everywhere. “Counter attack!!!!” Trunks shouted, running around like a chicken with his head cut off in an attempt to avoid the flying food. Vegeta blasted incoming food, but it still got through his defenses. Items that Vegeta had thrown to the floor while searching for the tape where getting kicked up and thrown everywhere. A spatula hit Gohan in the face, causing his hand to hit a rack of knives, launching them at Goku. Goku turned and saw the knives flying at him, and pinned himself back to the wall, the knives hitting around him in the shape of his body. Goku opened his eyes and saw that the knives had gone through the edges of his cloths, pinning him to the wall. “The horror...THE HORROR!” he screamed as he watched everyone else battle the flying objects. But no one could hear him over the clattering of the pots and pans, the flying food, and their own screaming. Vegeta was covered in food and was staggering around the room, disoriented. Suddenly, he dropped to his knees and screamed. “OH THE HUMANITY!” Then he fell forward and didn’t move again. Meanwhile, Trunks was attempting to dodge a number of flying objects kicked up by the food. A huge pot flew toward him and he knocked it to the floor. “HA! Take that!!!I got you!” he yelled as he pointed down at the pot. “Trunks!! Look out!” Goku yelled, still pinned to the wall. Trunks looked up and saw a chicken leg flying toward him. “Oh no! It’s coming to get sweet revenge!” he cried.
( Everything switches to slow motion at this point) Trunks put his hands up to shield his face. “Noooooooooooooooooooooo.” he screamed. “Trrrrrruuunnnnnkkkkssssssss!!!!” Goku yelled as he tore away from the wall, running to Trunks as the chicken leg closed in on him. Goku dove for Trunks and tackled him, the chicken leg hitting him in the back as they fell to the floor. (Time speeds back up to normal speed) “No!!Goku!!!” Trunks cried, sitting up and holding Goku in his arms. “Be strong, Trunks. Tell ChiChi that I love her.” Goku said weakly. Then his eyes closed and he went limp in Trunks’ arms. “NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!” Trunks screamed holding Goku tighter.
As Trunks sat there crying and holding Goku in his arms, Gohan crawled across the floor and grabbed a white dish towel, waving it in the air as a sign that they’d given up. At the same time, everything seemed to stop and go quiet. Vegeta was seemingly unconscious, covered in food, Gohan was gasping for air on the floor, and Trunks was still crying as he continued to hold a limp Goku in his arms.
Footsteps could be heard outside and the door slowly opened. “We’re ba---” ChiChi trailed off as she and Bulma entered the house. There were food and kitchen appliances everywhere. It was on the walls, dripping from the ceiling, and all over the floor. The kitchen was destroyed, the stove was half melted, the microwave was sparking, and there were knives in the shape of a body embedded into the wall with torn pieces of orange fabric on some of them. All the furniture in the living room was over turned and scattered everywhere. They both stared at the bruised and food-covered Saiyajins. Trunks looked back at them from where he was sitting with Goku, tears streaming down his face. “What happened!?” ChiChi and Bulma screamed, running over to him. “He...he was hit by a chicken leg that was intended for me!” Trunks choked out, picking up the chicken leg from the floor and holding it up. “I hate you!!” he yelled at the chicken leg as he tossed it into the wall and began to cry again. ChiChi and Bulma looked at him as if he were crazy. “And father...” Trunks continued looking back at the collapsed Vegeta. “He fought so bravely....but he couldn’t take it! Gohan waved the white flag and possibly saved us....but it’s too late for...Goku!” he sobbed.
ChiChi looked down at Goku. “Goku!” she shouted in annoyance. Goku immediately opened his eyes and sat up, much to Trunks’ surprise. “Hi ChiChi, when’d you two get back? And when’s dinner? I’m starving!” “HE’S ALIVE!” Trunks cried happily, hugging Goku, knocking him back to the floor. Bulma walked over to Vegeta and kneeled down next to him. “Hey Vegeta, wake up!” she shouted at him. He opened his eyes and looked at her. “What is it, woman!? You’re ruining my dramatic death!” “Oh, get up, you’re fine!” ChiChi still couldn’t believe the shape her house was in. Slowly, she turned to Goku, who was sitting on the floor. “Goku...” she started. “Yes dear?” Goku said, looking at the pot holders on his hands. “I’m gonna kill you!!!” she cried, lunging at him and wrapping her hands around his neck. “B....back....up!!!!” Goku choked out. Gohan, Vegeta and Trunks wrestled ChiChi off of him.
ChiChi wrestled away, knocking all of them to the ground. She walked over to Bulma and stood next to her, both of them folded their arms, glaring at the Saiyajins. “Well?? What do you have to say for yourselves?” ChiChi growled. “ Uh...we were gonna throw a party for you two...and we needed to cook something...and...well..” Goku said, glancing back at the kitchen. “I can’t believe you took part in this Vegeta! I can understand Goku acting like a child because he’s always acted like that...Gohan IS a kid, and to a certain extent, I can believe Trunks would act like a kid because he’s easily influenced by Goku! But you...you have no excuse! Except for maybe you’ve lost your mind!” Bulma lectured, turning her glare from one to the other. Vegeta looked from side to side, then back at Bulma. “Well you can only be around Kakarotto for so long before you go crazy you know!!” he shouted, pointing at Goku, splattering food at him as he did so. “Hey! What’s that supposed to mean!?” Goku demanded, wiping the food off of his face. “Be quiet!!” ChiChi and Bulma roared. All four Saiyajins cowered and looked at the floor. “Clean up this mess, now!!” All of them jumped up and scrambled to clean things up as best they could. “Men...” Bulma muttered as she and ChiChi made their way outside.
They looked at each other and smiled once they were out of view of everyone. “Isn’t that sweet? They were gonna throw us a party!” ChiChi boasted. “Yeah! That was unexpected. But for everyone’s safety, and the sake of your house...lets never leave them alone again.” Bulma said. “Agreed.” Suddenly, there was a huge explosion from inside the house. “VEGETA DID IT!!!” they heard Goku,Trunks and Gohan scream. “I DID NOT!!” Vegeta yelled. They then heard a struggle going on as they all fought. ChiChi and Bulma just shook their heads in pity.