Page 1 - 2
- 3 - 4
- 5 - 6
- 7 - 8
- 9 - 10 - 11
-Freeza- "Bad boys, bad boys. Whatcha gonna
do? Whatcha gonna do when they come for you?"
-Vegeta ( looking at the mirror) - "Man, look at
my receding hair line!"
(looks at Krillin)
-Krillin- "Just wait a couple more years"
-Goku (with dreadlocks hair-do) - "No, Woman no
Vegeta - "Ya Man!"
-Vegeta - " A little bit of Bulma by my side..."
( a la Mambo no.5)
-Goku (kicking a cloud) -"Work, you damned thing!"
-Cpt. Ginyu ( as a frog) - "Maybe a pretty girl
will come by, give me a kiss and turn me into a handsome
prince... hey, who's that girl with blue hair?"
( at Bald Men Anonymous)
-Piccolo (takes off his hat thingy) - "Hi, I'm
Piccolo, and I'm bald."
-everybody - "Hi Piccolo!"
-Krillin - "Hi, I'm Krillin, and I'm bald"
-everybody - "Hi Krillin!"
(Piccolo and Krillin hug)
-Zarbon - "Of course I have a reason for the way
I dress. These leg warmers make me ten times more powerful!"
-Freeza - "Can I have some too?"
-Tapion ( running after Trunks) - "Somebody get
that purple-haired kid. He stole my sword!"
-Trunks - "You gave it to me, you moron!"
-King Kai - "Who's fat?"
-Trunks (at the hair salon) - "All I asked for
was some purple highlights, and look what you did!"
-Krillin ( wearing a yellow wig ) - "I'm a super
-Krillin (looking at a chia-head) - "Hey, maybe
it'll work for me"
-Piccolo - "Nah, I already tried"
( excerpts from DBZ characters' gratitude journals)
-Piccolo - "The things I'm grateful for today:
being green, having antennas, and not having to wear
-Trunks - "The things I'm grateful for today: having
purple hair, having a kick-ass jacket, and being a huge
-Freeza - "The things I'm grateful for today: being
able to breathe in space, not being a monkey, and having
a different form for every day of the week"
-Goku - "The things I'm grateful for today: being
the most powerful sayan-jin in the universe, and always
being the center of the attention."
-Vegeta - "The things I'm grateful for today: being
the most powerful being in the universe... oh wait,
I'm not. This isn't working!"
-Freeza - "I love monkeys!"
-Freeza - "I'm a nudist, and proud of it!"
-Krillin ( to shenlong) - here are my three wishes,
listen carefully: hair, hair, and why not, some more
(a flash, and Krillin turns into cousin it - from the
-Trunks ( holding light saber) - " Wow, this thing
is way cooler than my sword"
-Luke Skywalker - "Hey, give it back!"
-Piccolo - "By the power of Namek, I will punish
-Krillin ( running around wearing a fur coat, with the
full moon) - "Hey, look. I'm a saiya-jin"
-Rest of DBZ - "Wanna-be"
-Chouzu - "I tried out for Cirque du Soleil, but
I never made it. Then I met Tien . He was a reject too,
so together we joined DBZ. And that's the story of my
-Vegeta - "I've decided to give up fighting to
build a memorial for planet Vegeta. It's about time"
-all SSJ - "Our eyes don't actually turn green
when we go SSJ, it's just that when we do that, we go
completely blind, so we have to wear contacts. And green
goes just so well with our yellow dyed hair"
-Piccolo - " I love St. Patrick's day, I finally
-Zarbon ( catching his breath) - "Sorry guys, my
aerobics class was running late"
-Tien ( looking at the mirror) - "Oh my God! What's
that thing on my forehead? Aaaaah!!! It's looking at
(the millionaire show)
-host - "For the last time, Mr. Vegeta, is that
your final answer?"
-Vegeta - "Wait, wait, I think I got it."
-Piccolo (from the audience) - "For God's sake,
the answer is C, you dumb@$$!"
-Vegeta - "Shut up! I knew that!"
-Trunks - "Man, this sword is so heavy! Why do
I always get these weird gifts? I would have been just
as happy if I got a yo-yo or something! Am I the only
one who has such dysfunctional friends?"
-Goten - "Hey!"
-Vegeta - "Is my left side more photogenic than
my right side? What do you think, Krillin?"
-Krillin - "What do I know? I look ugly even from
-Krillin - " I used to have a very big nose. Then
I saw a picture of Michael Jackson, and got inspired.
But something went very very wrong."
-Vegeta - "I wish this suit had pockets. I have
nowhere to put my lipstick!"
-Gohan - "I'm hungry, Piccolo."
(Piccolo rips off his arm and gives it to Gohan)
-Piccolo - "Here, heat it up for 30 minutes on
-Gohan - "Ooooh! Yummm!"
-Vegeta: "Theres a change in the weather,Change
in the seeeeaaaaa! From now on there's gonna be a, CCHHHAAANNGGEE
-Vegeta: "Unbreak my heeeaaarrt! Say you LOVE me
agian! UNDO this hurt that you caused when you walked
out the door! And walked outta my life,,,,,,,"
(that song was from Vegeta-2-Bulma)
-Vegeta-2-Goku: "You no Goku, I've really admired
your stength.....I wish i could be more like you.."
-Gohan: "Mr, Vegeta KILLED PEOPLE?!"
-ChiChi: "Oh I dont mind if my son goes out fighting
agian! I will just write a note to his teacher saying
HE'S DEFENDNG THE WORLD! My almost grown up son.....
he doesnt need me anymore!
-Frezia: "I dont really WANT to kill people.....<starts
to cry..> I am really a nice beast! I like baby chicks,
and little puppy dogs........"
-Bulma: "I dont care about the way my hair looks..."
(From Majin Gotenks)
-Chaozu to Tien: "Its over Tien! I'm going
to my mothers house! If you don't get your act together
I'm going straight!"
-Piccolo to Tien- "I see you checking me out
with that third eye, Tien."
-Goku: "Tien and Chaozu are lovers? I didn't
-Vegeta: "Maybe I'd get famous if I got on a
-Vegeta: "Bulma! Help! I just had a bad dream!"
-Gohan: "Dad...will you promise to protect me
from Chaozu? He's been stalking me, peeking in at me
through the window..."
-Bulma: "NO! I won't modify the scouter to spot
-Mutenroshi Kamesennin: "Ok, Ok. So I didn't
invent the Kamehameha. I was this Hawaiian King dude.
But whats he gonna do, sue me?"
-Piccolo: "No Chaozu, I'm not going to show you
the attack for two reasons. 1: It's not called the Screw
Attack, and 2: You could of at least called it the Corkscrew
-Kami-sama: "I'm a big boy, King Yemma, don't
tell me what to do!"
-Krillin: "Ohhh Maaaan! Not only am I short,
I think I'm shrinking."
-Nappa: "If you reduce the Ion flow to the 3rd
booster coupling, and adjust the proton injection rate..."
-Dende: "Maybe I can make a sidewalk stand to
heal people...and I could charge them a whole 25 cents!"
-Buu: (TV advertisment) "After eating those two
helpings of Gotenks and Piccolo, I think I need a Rolaids,
which begins to neutralize Acid on contact!"
-Cell: "Gohan, I'm sorry about the loss of you
father, so how 'bout I take you to McDonald's and get
you a Happy Meal? I hear the have new PokeMon toys!"
-Frieza: "Go away Dodoria, me and Zarbon are
-Zarbon: "AAHH! None of my tights are clean!"
-Raditz: "Wow, maybe before I die, I can put
a picture of my self into the scouter for Bulma... *wink
-Trunks: "To the Bat Cave, Goten!"
-Goten: "Gohan, Gohan, Gohan, you idiot, don't
you know anything? The average person even knows the
square root of 8785858698 is...
-Super Saiya-jin Vegeta: No, I'm not a Super Saiya-jin,I
just dyed my hair yellow.
-Super Saiya-jin Gohan: Mom,can you comb my hair?
It wont stay down.
-Bulma: You know, I just married Vegeta because
Goku already had a wife.
(From Aries Skye/piccolo_dbzgt)
-Piccolo *says to Gohan*: Grasshopper, sway like
the Ginco Flower.
-Trunks: "Just because my hair's purple, doesn't
mean I'm gay!"
-Goku: "Chichi, I think I need a flu shot."
-Chichi: "Gohan, I love you the way you are."
-Chichi: "Sure Yamcha! I would love to have you
help Gohan with his studies."
-Gohan: "Daddy, why can't you stand up to mommy?"
-Piccolo: "I would love to be a shoe salesman."
-Trunks: "Whazzup with this sword?!"
-#18: "How and the hell could I have a kid?!"
-Bulma *says to Piccolo*: "I love you man!"
-Goku: "I passed driver's education!!"
-Vegeta: "Bulma, did you just marry me for my
beautiful receeding hairline?"
-Bulma: "Vegeta, maybe you should try a lawnmower."
-Gohan *winks in direction of stranger*: "Nice
-Piccolo *makes gesture to ChiChi*: "Slippery
-Vegeta: Bulma, there's no such thing as Sayians. Goku,
Radditz and I are from the IRS. <ala "Meet Joe
-Bulma: So, I'm not even human. I'm an andriod.
-Vegeta: So that explaines your intelligence...
(From Trunks Girl (a.k.a. Krys))
*Gohan is drunk*
-Gohan:(singing) I'm an HRS kid! My daddy didn't beat
me, but my momma sure did! I'm an HRS kid! Yes I am!
Do you wanna be an HRS kid?
-Mirai Trunks: *pointing his sword in font of the mirror*
My name is Trunks. You have killed my father. Prepare
*Cast at a Boston Market restaurant*
-Bulma: Um.....why is our bill $579.00? What did you
-Goku:*yelling* I had.........six whole rotisserie chicken,
a family-sized macaroni and cheese, a pound of mashed
potatoes, and a cookie.
*Everyone in the restaurant looks at Goku*
-Vegeta: Goku, buddy ol' pal! You should have been the
prince of all Saiya-jins!
-Goku: Aww, that's sweet of you Vegeta! Big hug!
-Goku & Vegeta: We're not worthy! We're not worthy!
-Vegeta: You know Kakarotto, I had real feelings for
-Gohan - Well, Piccolo, you can just SHOVE IT!
-Vegeta - I like holding hands and long strolls on the
-Dr. Briefs cat - (absolutely anything)
-Freeza - (in Hanz and Franz-ish voice) look at my buff
body, you girly men!
-Goku - (To radditz) Screw the kid, I just wanna KILL
-Trunks - Hey, Dad! Let's go play catch!
-Goku - instead of training, maybe I should just play
*This takes place at a Starlights Club Meeting. They
are guys that transform into girls. aka Sailor Moon*
-Minako: Hello, I would like to show you all two new
members to our club: Piccolo and Dende.
*both walk in. Piccolo is crying*
-Piccolo: You like me! You really like me!
-Dende: You ain't no Scarlett O'Hara!
-Bulma: And you ask how we passed time on that ship
to Namek. Krillin, Gohan, and I sang a little song to
cheer up our hopes!
-Krillin: *blow harmonica for a second*
-All: We all live on a yellow submarine! Yeah! Yellow
-Freeza: I'm a sweet transvesite! *aka Rocky Horror
-*Bulma picks up a note from the table and cries*
-Bulma: Trunks is going to join the cast of Johnny Quest,
and Bra is becoming a Spice Girl. What else could go
-Vegeta: I am sorry to have to tell you this Bulma,
but I have been living a double life as a stripper and
I am going to marry a hooker called Bambi.
-Bulma: *has a heart attack and dies*
-Vegeta: It was only a joke.
-Goku: Elementary, my dear Krillin. *dress up like Sherlock
-Krillin: Is that what school you go to?
*Yamcha in a bar surrounded by other guys*
-Yamcha: *hiccup* I never get the girl. That's no *hiccup*
-Seiya: Join the club.
-Yamcha: Hey, your kinda cute.
-Seiya: I can transform into a girl hotstuff.
((Seiya is Sailor Starfighter a guy who transforms into
a girl and didn't get Usagi))
*A big sign says Satan Family Reunion*
-Videl: Here is my uncle Lucifer and his daughter Hela.
-Gohan: Can we please leave now?
-Videl: No, you haven't meet the rest of my family.
-Gohan: I wonder who the next one is....Cousin Hades!
*A peek at the Dragonball High School Yearbook*
-Goku: Most likely to join WWF.
-Krillin: Most likely to play Charlie Brown in a live-action
-Chaotzu: Most likely to advertise life insurance.
-Yajirobie: Most likely to be denied from Weight Watchers
and Jenny Craig.
-ChiChi: Most likely to be a spokesperson for Midol.
-Lunch: Most likely to star as Sybil.
-Vegeta: Most likely to never step foot inside a barber
-Gokou: The electromagnetic interference caused by the
radiation of magnetic energy around the wire can be
reduced by flattening the cylindrical cabling. The inducted
signal noise will be decreased by 70%.
-Bulma: Yeah, I guess.
-Toucan Sam: Follow your nose
-Krillin: Oh shut up
-Gokou after being blasted by Piccolo's Makankasappou:
I'll be back.
-Piccolo being stopped by police: It's because I'm green
-Chi chi in Gohan's bedroom: Study my ass!*pulls out
a drawer full of condoms, Playboys, marijuana joints,
and a bottle of Jack Daniels (almost empty)*
(From Trunks Briefs)
-Goten: *dials phone*
-Moe: Moe's Tavern, Moe speaking
-Goten: Hello, I'm looking for a Mrs. Hugginkiss, first
-Moe: Hey, I'm lookin for Amanda Hugginkiss, I need
Amanda Hugginkiss pronto!
-Moe: Moe's Tavern
-Trunks: Uh, I'm looking for a Mr. Momma, first name
-Moe: Joe Momma! I need Joe Mamma over here! C'mon,
I need Joe Mamma!
-Barney Gumble: What did you say?! *beats up Moe*
-Moe: Moe's Tavern
-Goten: Hello, I'm looking for a Mr. Sexual, first name
-Moe: Is there a Homa Sexual here? I need a Homa Sexual!
-Mrs. Briefs: *dials*
-Moe: Moe's Tavern
-Mrs. Briefs: Hello, I'm looking for a Briefs, first
-Moe: Trunks Briefs, huh? Look you bitch, if you call
here one more time, I will personally hit your ass ugly
fat face so hard, your grandchildren will be blind!
-Mrs. Briefs: But I already have gra-
-Moe: *hangs up*
-Jeice: *cheesy grin* Rogaine worked for me!
-Vegeta: Prepare to die, Freez--ooo....shiny... *pokes
the purple shiny thing on Freeza's head*
-Gokou: I like.... *flutters his eyelashes* rainbows!
-Dr. Briefs: For the last time, yes, my cat is real!
-Vegeta: *prances around Bulma, wearing a tanktop and
-short- shorts* I feel pretty! Bulma, hold me!
-Bulma: Vegeta, how many times do I have to tell you
to stay out of my closet?!
-Zarbon, Bulma, Kaio-sama and Puar: Hooray for blue!
-Freeza, Captain Ginyu and Trunks: Purple is better!
-Yajirobe and Jeice: You kidding? Orange is the best!
-Piccole, Dende and Shenglong: No, it's green!
-Mr. Popo: Black!
-All: Hey, Gokou, what do -you- think is the best color?
-Gokou: Umm... pink!
*Bulma and Chi-Chi fuse together to form Bul-Chi*
-Krillin: Now -that's- scary!
-Vegeta: *wearing a Simba the lion mask and singing*
Oh, I just can't wait to be king!
-Gokou: Um, Vegeta, you -are- king. Your dad's dead.
-Vegeta: *shrieks with joy*
-Bulma: *hugs Vegeta*
-Vegeta: AHH! COOTIES!
-Gohan: *screaming into a microphone* GOIN' OFF THE
RAILS ON A CRA--ZY TRAIN!!
-Captain Ginyu: Whoa, check out those awesome poses
the Sailor Scouts are doing!
-Zarbon: I wonder what I'd look like with a buzz cut.
-Krillin: #18, beer me!
-Captain Ginyu: *looking at his frog body* Maybe Budweiser
could use an extra...
-Trunks: I'm going to kill y---*belches loudly* Excuse
(From Medusa Locks)
-Freeza- Man, I feel like a woman...
-Zarbon- Is that Shania Twain?
-Freeza- Shania who?
-Gohan- Wow! The Ultimate Fusion! Piccoolong!
-Piccolo- Do these Hammer pants make my butt look big?
-Piccolo- THEY DO! Don't they!?! *sobs*
-Roshi- I have to make a confession... I'm gay.
-Piccolo- I have to change my style. This bald-and-green
tough-guy thing isn't helpin' me pick up the chicks.
-Piccolo- It's Barney! Looky, Gohan! Barney! He's my
hero! I love you, you love me..."
-Nappa- I used to have beautiful golden hair, but I
got tired of the dumb blonde jokes, so I shaved my head.
- Vegeta (singing to Bulma & snapping his fingers)-
Baby let me be,
Your Saiyian teddy bear!
Put a chain around my neck,
And take me anywhere,
oh let me be, please let me be,
your teddy bear!
I just wanna be your teddy bear, oooooooh
(From SSJ Chibi Trunx)
-Trunks- "Hey Mom? Could you pick me up some
more purple hair dye? My roots are starting to show"
Long story. (Between Trunks and James from Pokémon)
-Trunks and James: Huh?
-Trunks: Hey! What are you doing with my hair style?
-James: Don't you know? I'm part of Team Rocket and
what we want, we get!
-Trunks: Let's settle this on a 3 on 3 Pokémon battle!
-James: You're on! I'll start with Jessy's Arbok. Arbok,
-Trunks: Pikachu, go!
(Both Pokémon pop out)
-Trunks: Pikachu, Agility.
-James: Drat. What were Arbok's moves again? Ahhhh!
-Trunks: Good! The Arbok's confused. Pikachu, Thundershock!
(Arbok got fried)
-James: Ahhhhhhh! Jessy will kill me for this! Arbok,
return! Weezing, attack!
(Weezing pops out)
-James: Weezing, Sludge Attack.
-Trunks: Pikachu, dodge the Sludge and counter with
a Quick Attack!
-James: Hmph! They both missed. Weezing, Smog Attack.
-Trunks: Pikachu. Launch a Thunderbolt!
-Pikachu: Pika! Piiiiiiiiiikachu!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Weezing got fried too)
-James: Great! Victreebell, you're my last hope. Go!
(Victreebell pops out and attacks James)
-Trunks with a tear drop: Bad training.
-Pikachu with a tear drop: Pika. (Ditto)
-Trunks: Uhhh...how do you want to finish this?
-Pikachu: Pi pika. Pikachu! (This will be fun. I'll
use a Thunder Attack!)
-James and Victreebell: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
-Trunks: I learn so fast. Yeah! Let's go Pikachu!
-Pikachu: Pika! (Okay!)
-Vegeta: Wha? What's this? Piccolo! I found a hair!
-Piccolo: Wow, really? Lemme see!
-Vegeta: Nope, sorry, just pullin your leg. You'll never
have hair as beautiful as mine!
-Freeza: "There's no need for us to fight.
We can resolve our differences diplomatically."
-Captain Ginyu: "Hmm, this frog's body is actually
-Goku: (To Freeza) "Why did you kill Krillin? Come
on, at least we had Gohan insured!"
-Bulma: "I don't know how to fix this..."
-Freeza: "I really shouldn't refer to Saiya-jins
as 'monkeys.' It's very demeaning to them."
-Vegeta: "*grunts and strains* Must... summon...
more... power... *muscles bulge* Ah! Finally got that
wedgie out, stupid Kakarot..."
-Goku: "Don't worry about it, I programmed the
-Chi-chi: "Goku, put up the calculus and physics
books, you've been neglecting your training."
(From Prince Vegeta)
-King Kai: "CRICKET, CRICKET MAAAAAAN, I WANT-TO-BE,
A CRICKET MAN!!" (From "Macho Man")
-Frieza(cut into many pieces): "Tis a flesh wound!"
-Goku: Man, playing strip poker with Freeza is a
gyp! He's already butt-naked!
-Vegeta: OOOoooooooh, preeetttyy...
-Piccolo: Maybe if I used SPF 30, I wouldn't get so
-Bulma: Life sucks! I have a nasty husband who is short,
ugly, has the world's most
annoying widow's peak, and is even more vain than I
am! Where's Robert Redford when you need him???
-Vegeta: Hey Gohan! Do you know how to hotwire this
-Goku: AAAAAAAHHHHH!!! Chichi, what did you do to Nimbus?!?!?!?!
I told you, dry clean only!!!!!!!
-Piccolo: Hey Nail? Hows about you finally getting your
ass out of my body??
-Gohan: Kill MRS HANNA!!
-Vegeta: Kakarot, the green contacts and the peroxide
job are sooooo chic! Where did you get it done?
-Goku: OWWW!!! I just got my ass kicked by Sailor Mars!
-Chichi: (shopping at the fish mart) Yes, I'll take
that big one right there... Wait... AAAAHHHHHH! KING
-Piccolo: Kame, I'm so sorry! Here's a box of chocolates
and flowers. Will you ever forgive me???
-Krillin: AHH! AAHHH! What that on my head?!?!?!....
Oh wait, it's hair!
-Piccolo: (ala Darth Vader) Dende, I am your father...
-Goku:AAAAAHHHHH!!!! Chichi, where's ESPN?!?!?
-Gohan: Pikachu, I choose you!
-Oolong: Miss Piggy, oh sexy Miss Piggy...
-Chaotzu: How the hell do I get this face paint off?!
-Ginyu: Freeza, what's that sticking out of your ass?
-Trunks: Momm!! Can't I play with a real sword yet?
This plastic one sucks!
-#18-Krillin, stop picking your nose!
-Bulma- Mom, could you help me with this computer?
-Vegita- Nappa, that's brilliant!
-Piccolo-..I miss my teddy bear...(everyone stares)...Uh,
did I say that out loud?....
-Dende- if you're not going to eat that, I will.
-Nappa-(sining)..I am the very model of a modern major
general....(Pirates of Penzance)
-Vegita to Yamcha- I dig your girlfriend.
-Goku- Idiot! Idiot1 I am such a jerk! Why did i have
to say that to her outloud? I don't wanna sleep in the
cave again! Man!...ChiChi, honey!...Lem'me in! I really
didn't mean it! ChiChi? Please?
-#18- I don't want to marry a loser.
-Vegita- Hey Trunks, is Bulma asleep yet?
-Trunks- Yeah, so's Bra.
-Vegita- Good, I don't want your mother to know I'm
watching this. She might think I'm sensitive or something...
(pops Titanic in the VCR)
-Trunks- You may be watchin' this for the death, I'm
watchin' it for the Kate Winslet!
-Vegeta: We have to stop this fighting Kakarot and start
using "I" messages!
-Goku: Fine! I feel bad when you are mean to me because
it hurts my feelings.
-Vegeta: Well...gee Kakarot...I never realized I was
hurting you so much...
-Goku: Oh Vegeta...
-Vegeta: Oh Kakarot...I feel so close to you now...HUGS!
-Chi Chi: Hey Goku, wanna make another baby...heh heh...
-Goku: Hell ya!
-Goku: KAMEHAME....wait a minute. I've just realized
something. Fighting won't solve anything, we must discuss
our feelings rationally like the civialized adults we
-Vegeta: Your right Kakarot. We must unit together to
form a happier planet for future generations.
-ALL singing: "Come on people, now, smile on your
brother! Everybody get together try to love one another
-Vegeta: Not tonight Bulma, I'm too tired.
-Vegeta: You SON OF A B*TCH! You made me,like, brake
a nail! YOU WILL NOW FEEL THE RATH OF VEGETA! Like,
-Goku: Chi Chi sure looks hot in that dress....the others
can battle Cell a few more minutes while I get my 'groove'
-Chi Chi: Happy Birthday Goku!
-Bulma: We're taking you to an all you can eat buffet,
-Goku: What do ya think I am, a pig?
-Gohan: Daddy we just though you...
-Goku: Shut up, you should be studying!
-Chi Chi: O C'mon Goku...
-Goku: Quiet You!
-Vegeta: (staring at TV) I love you, you love me, we're
a happy family!...
-Bulma: Oh Vegeta and his Barney, never misses an episode!
-Goku: Chi Chi is that new dress?
-Chi Chi: Yes...why?
-Goku: Why, darling, you look divine in it! What brand
is it Gucci? Anne Taylor? What? I simply must know!
-Chi Chi: Uh...well...I got it at Kmart.
-Chi Chi: Gohan you really have to stop studying...ur
gonna become a book worm like your father!
-Goku: Chi Chi please keep it down...I'm in the middle
of A Tale of Two Cities...
-Chi Chi: Uh, yeah whatever. Love to hear about it but
I gotta go spar with Bulma...c ya!
-Goku, Piccolo, Vegeta: (DING DONG) Trick or Treat!
-Vegeta: "If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get
with my friends! Making love's forever! Friendship never
-Goku: Yeah, ya know, I'd love to help but fighting
is like so last season!
-Bulma: Cut the crap Vegeta and just do me!
-Goku: Chi Chi?
-Chi Chi: Yeah?
-Goku: Happy Anniversary...
-Chi Chi: OK WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH
-Krillin- And welcome to the annual Royal Order
of Candle Lovers lodge meeting. Do we have any new members?
-Cell- Oh Grand Puba, we have two new members.
-Krillin-Bring them forward
**Vegeta and Trunks walk up to the stage**
-Krillin- Now does everybody know what to do to these
**all the members nod**
-Krillin-**glances at Trunks and Vegeta** Now as you
know, the way to become a member here is to have your
hair shaved off and a candle burned on your head. **All
the members pick up shavers, some pick up Nair bottles,
a few get some candles** And now, let the shaving commence!!
-Trunks and Vegeta- NO!! NOT OUR HAIR!!! AAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!
**both fly out of the room**
-Krillin- Cell, Goten, you know what to do. **Cell and
Goten fly off to catch Vegeta and Trunks**
-Vegeta- WAAAAAAAHHHH!! MY BEAUTIFUL HAIR!!!!
-Trunks- DAMN YOU KRILLIN!!!
-Krillin- Hey, if I had to get these 6 stupid candle
burn scars on my forehead, then you had to, too!!! And
that'll be Grand Puba to you two lowly candles lovers!!
-Vegeta and Trunks- **Grumbling sounds**
-Fat Buu- I listened to the Pork-lovers hotline and
in 30 minutes, I got fat!! **Holds up a picture of Majin
Buu** See the difference? Thanks Pork-lovers hotline!!
I'll remember you the first time my arteries
-Freiza- **sitting in a big chair** Hello. I'm Freiza.
You might know me as "That Gay Freak who's on the
American DBZ." I'd just like to take this opportunity
to tell you that I'm not gay and...
-All the Saiyajins still alive- **fly past** Hi Freiza!!
-Freiza**flies after them** HEY GUYS!! WE'RE STILL ON
FOR THE HONEYMOON, RIGHT? GUYS?
-Vegeta- **singing** I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts
-Kakkarot-**singing too** Doodely dee dee
-Vegeta- There they are just standing in a row
-Kakkarot- Bum bum bum
-Vegeta and Kakkarot- Big ones, small ones, some as
big as your head!
-Piccolo- FOR THE HUNDRETH TIME, SHAT UP!! **Pelts Vegeta
and Kakkarot with coconuts** (ala- Lion King.... 'Cept
for the Piccolo part :)
-Bulma- Hey Goku, can you help me with this?
-Kakkarot- Sure, what is it?
-Bulma- It's a Hyper-Megatron Iota Googleplex Navigator!!
-Kakkarot-**sighs** Oh for crying out loud!! Not that
(Note- I have no idea what iota is. I just put it in
because it sounds all technical :)
-Vegeta- I AM the coolest
-Trunks- NO WAY!! **frantic** Don't listen to him Pan,
I'm way better then he is. It's me you want!!
-Vegeta- You wanna come over here and say that to my
face, little man??!!
-Trunks-**goes right up to Vegeta and shoves him** Oh
yeah??!! Watcha gonna do 'bout it, hair-boy???!!!
-Vegeta-**Tears stream down his face** That hurt, Trunks.
-Trunks- **backs away in surprise and shock** I...I'm
sorry, dad... I didn't know.......
-Trunks-**starts to cry, too** I'M SORRY DAD!!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!
-Vegeta- **stands up** c'mon son. Gimme a hug!!
-Trunks-**flies into Vegetas arms**
-Pan- Ooookay. This is just too weird for words. **Flies
-Chi Chi- **stands up** I feel like kicking some ass
-Kakkarot- Of course you do dear. Now sit down and eat
this food I made for you.
-Chi Chi- **grumbles** Asshole
-Kakkarot- **grins** Hey, if you want, I can take you
back to Acadamy for Disgruntled and Otherwise Defeciant
-Chi Chi-No!!! Not that again!!! I'll be good!! I'll
-Kakkarot- Good. Now get your F*cking ass back in the
-Chi Chi-**sadly** Ok.
("Whose Line is it Anyway" goes DBZ)
-Vegita: Do you question your sexuality?
-Bulma: I think I'm pregnant with your child.
-Vegita: If it is my child.
-Bulma: Are you insinuating that I'm sleeping with Goku?
-Vegita: If he is my brother.
-Goku: "I'm gonna hit you while you're powering
Sale at the mall or saving the world
from a giant monster. The mall!
-Marron: Charlie Brown!
-#18: After Marron saw a Snoopy cartoon, she calls Krillin
Charlie Brown. He does kind of look like him.
-Krillin: I do not!
-Jeadite: Hahaha, the universe is mine!
-Voice: Stop right there, negatrash!
-Bra: I'm Sailor Mercury,
-Pan: Sailor Mars,
-Marron: and Sailor Moon, and on behalf of the moon
we shall punish you!
-DBZ cast chasing Oolong: Kill the pig! Kill the pig!
(From the book, Lord of the Flies.)
-Goku: Hey guys, I have great news!
-DBZ Guy cast: What?!?
-Goku: I finally got a bathtub in my house. No more
sitting in the toxic waste barrel.
*When Pan was born and deciding on her name*
-Videl: I wanna name her Hela!
-Gohan: Well, that name isn't exactly normal dear
-Videl: I wanna name her HELA!!!
-Gohan: I am not naming my little girl after some goddess
of Hell in Nordic Mythology.
-Gohan: I am not with the weird fetish thing with anything
doing with the devil.
-Videl: What about the Go- thing?
-Gohan: Well, you see that's different. Let me explain
-Freeza *to a department store clerk*: WHAT DO YOU MEAN
YOU DON'T HAVE IT IN PINK?!?!?!?
*At an Alcoholics Anonymous Meeting*
-Bulma: Hello, I'm Bulma, and I'm an alcoholic.
-People in room: Hi Bulma!
-ChiChi: I'm ChiChi, and I am an alcoholic.
-People in room: Hi ChiChi!
-Bulma *to ChiChi*: You are right! We should really
be able to pick up some guys here.
-Zarbon: Yeah, my hair is naturally this way.
-King Kai: I have been on the Jenny Craig plan for 1,000
years and lost .3 pounds! Thanx Jenny. You saved this
-Piccolo: Hey, everyone! Look at my school yearbook.
I was rated most cheerful and happy!
-Goku: I'm afraid of grass! Get it away! The torture!
-Vegeta *singing*: Joy to the world. All the boys and
girls! Joy to the fishies in the deep blue sea. Joy
to you and me.
-Tien: I'm Third Eye Blinds new mascot!
-Cell *singing*: All you need is love! All you need
is love! All you need is love! Love! Love is all you
-Dende: Healer Namek Power!!!!
-Vegeta: Play it again, Sam. ((aka Casablanca))
-Gohan- yes, I was born on Earth. Why do you ask?
-Videl- **glances at Gohan's tail** oooh... no reason
-Captain Ginyu- I'm Sailor Ginyu baby yeah!!! Isn't
that just the most shagadelic thing you've ever heard?
-Android #18- I'm lonely Krillin. Veeeeery lonely. Are
you lonely too, Krillin?
-Vegeta- You know, I'm really sick of all the variations
on my name!!!! Can't everyone just agree on one
simple way to spell it??!!!
-Brolli- You know, I never really did care for fighting.
-Kaio-sama- Goku, get bent.
-Goku-**sniff sniff** but Kaio-sama, I thought we were
-Gohan-**to Piccolo** You know Piccolo, when we started
training together, I never thought it would end up like
-Piccolo-**Hops outta bed** you said it. Now where did
I put those damn cigars?
-Koola- A lot of people think I hate Saiyans. It's not
true!!! I actually fell in love with one!!!
-Vegeta- Koola!! Don't tell them our secret!!
-Puar- Forget you Yamcha, I'm going to join the circus!
-Chaozu- Wait for me!!
-Oolong- I want to be a circus pig!!!
-Brolli- Kakkarotto, I love you man!!!
-Goku- Group hug!!
-Androids #17 and 18- **Running** Leave us alone Cell!!
we don't want to be absorbed that way!!!
-Cell-**Chasing them with a fork, steak knife and BBQ
sauce** C'mon guys, it'll only hurt for a minute!!!
-Zarbon- Did I overpluck my eyebrows?
-Zarbon and Freeza- Oh I'm just a girl in the world!!
-Goku- For crying out loud!! It's not Flying Nimbus!!
It's Kinto-un!!! Kinto-un!!!!!
-Goten-**in an English accent**-Also known as Candy
-Goku-Shut up Goten. I never liked you you big copy-cat!!
-Trunks-Yaaaaaaaayyy!! You tell him Goku!!
-Krillin- Oh sure, everyone pretends not to notice my
names meaning, but I have!!! Why the hell was I named
-Piccolo- Don't worry Krillin, I was named after a damn
-Goku- Yeah, that's right!! My Saiyajin name means carrot,
but do you hear me complain?
-Vegeta- **pokes Krillins bald head** I don't know,
I think your parents named you right. After all, a chestnut
doesn't have any hair either, Cue-Ball!! Ha ha ha!
-Krillin- **plops down on the floor and water spouts
out of his eyes** I really do have hair!! It's black!!
I just shaved it!!! I'm a monk you know!!
-Goku: "Mmm...beer..." *tilts his head
back and drools*
-Vegeta: "Aw, c'mon Bulma! *panics* No! Please
don't take my N64 away!! I'll be good, I promise!!"
-Gohan: "Hey Mr. Piccolo! BITE ME!!!"
-Piccolo: "Why you LITTLE-!"
-Chi-Chi: "Bring it on, Frieza!! I'll kick your
-Frieza: *cowers in a corner*
-Vegeta: *smiles cheerfully* "Maybe that Goku's
not such a bad guy after all..."
*during a DBZ taping*
-Vegeta: "Now listen cueball-"
-Krillin: "Cueball!? *gets hysterical* CUEBALL!!??
That's it!!! I won't take anymore of this abuse!!
*whips out his contract and starts ripping it up*
_This_ is what I think of you and your goofy show, Mr.Toriyama!!!
I QUIT!!" *Krillin storms off the set*
-Vegeta: *Has a suprised look on his face* "Well,
-Gohan: *To Chi-Chi* "Stop your B*TCHIN'!!!"
(a la South Park)
-Frieza: *singing* "I'm walkin' on sunshine! Yeah!
And don't it feel good, hey!!"
(From Matt R.)
-Vegeta:I did it all for the nookie!
-Vegeta:Wants my body,
-Vegeta: Everybody wants my body right, I'm a bad ass,
-Gohan: Pokeball go!
-Goku:What did you say your name is?
-Goku:(cuts him off) IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOUR NAME
IS! (The Rock)
-Piccolo: Who's your daddy?
-Vegeta: Hey Bulma, with me you only need two dragon
balls to call on my eternal dragon yo have your wish
-Japanese Dragon Ball Z: (singing) Dragon dragon, Rock
the dragon, Dragon Ball Z!
-NADBZ: (singing) Cha La, Head Cha La!
-Goku (Japan): Kameyameya!
-Goku (America): Kamehameha!
-Goku: I got two words for you, SUCK IT! (DX)
(From Piccolo's Pride)
-Vegeta: Remember kids, violence doesn't solve anything!(kills
someone with ki blast) But it sure feels good!!
-Piccolo: Hey everyone! Look what I can do!(Sticks french
fry in ear and pulls it out his nose)
-Goku: Look what I can do!(punches so fast you can only
see a blur)
-Vegeta: Man Kakorrot, why do you have to ruin everything!
Piccolo! Do the fry thing again!
-Piccolo: Okay, this time I'll do it with FIVE fries!(a
-Mirai Trunks: How do you use this sword thingy-majiger?
-Piccolo: Man FUNimation! What exactly is wrong with
Makankousappo? These Americans don't know ANYTHING!
-Goku: Yah! What is wrong with Genki Dama? What's with
this SPIRIT BOMB CRAP?!
-Vegeta: (walking through the forest smoking a cigarette)
-Goku:(in Smoky the Bear uniform)Only YOU can prevent
forest fires!(pulls cigarette out of Vegeta's hand and
steps on it)
-Captain Ginyu: (to Freeza) Sometimes I run! Sometimes
I hide! Sometimes I'm scared of you! But all I really
want is to hold you tight! Treat me right...
-Tien: What would happen if I wished for Choatzu to
go to hell.....
-Vegeta: When I get all the Dragon Balls, I wish for
a better hair-style!
-Goku: MOOON CRYYSTAL POOOWER!! Hey! Why isn't it working?
-Gohan: (strikes a pose)Mercury Star POOOWER!!
-Vegeta: (starts to dance)Mars Star POOOWER!!
-Piccolo: (doing stupid poses)Jupiter Star POOOWER!!
-Krillin: (starts to make peace signs)Venus Star POOOWER!!
-All: We are the Sailor Scouts!! We fight for justice
and against evil!!
-Gohan: Hey dad, why haven't you transformed?
-Goku: I don't know!(starts to hit crystal)Something
must have happened to the moon!
-Chi Chi: Let's go kick Freeza's ***!!
-Goku:(to Chi Chi) Do I have to fight today?*whines*
-Vegeta: Yeah! Sailor Moon is on!!!!!!
-Krillin:(puts hand on bald head) 18, is my hair alright
-Gohan: (sings) MMbop a dowedop by dowop dobop by dowop
adowedop byyy dooo...(ala Hanson)
-Gohan: I hate Piccolo!
-Piccolo: Does my gi make me look fat?
-Freeza: I'm going to apologize to all the living Saiyans
on the count of destroying their planet.
-Goku: How do we fight?
-Bulma: Check out that *** on Piccolo! I would do anything
for a piece of that!
-Vegeta: Kakkarot! Let's go to Disneyland!
-Goku: Alpha,beta,gamma,delta, epsilon, zeta, eta, theta,
-Gohan: I wanna go study for my test on Friday!
-Choazu: What's death?
-Cooler: Why did I get the name Cooler? I want my name
to be Dr. Freeze!
-Goku: (to King Kai)Train me you over grown pudgy bug
or I'll kick your ***!
(Note: Vegeta usually calls Goku by his Saiyan name.
This is really lame.)
-Piccolo: Why don't girls like me?
-Goku: I have no idea.(giggles)
-Yamucha: Maybe it's the green skin.(looks at himslf
in mirror and fixes hair)
-Piccolo: What do you know? Bulma turned you down for
-Vegeta: Hey! Is there something wrong with me Nameck?
-Goku & Yamucha:(giggle than start to laugh uncontrolably)
-Piccolo: (smiles cruelly)
-Chi Chi: Goku. I'm leaving you for Piccolo!!
-Chi Chi: He took that well.
-Bulma: Vegeta is way better in bed than Goku is.
-Chi Chi: How would you know?
-Chi Chi: You slept with him! KAMEHAMEHA!!!!
-Bulma:(sent to another dimension)
-Goku: Hey what happened Chi Chi?
-Chi Chi: Shut up man!! Gammit Gun Fire!!
-All Japenese Z Fighters: Cha La! Head Cha La!
-All American Z Fighters: Dragon! Dragon! Rock the Dragon!!
Dragon Ball Z!!
-Tien: I love Cheesy Poofs! You love Cheesy Poofs! If
we didn't eat Cheesy Poofs, we would all be lame!!!
-Chi Chi:(to Bulma)I don't know about you, but I feel
like kicking major *** today!
-Bulma:Me too!! Ya wanna spar?
-Chi Chi: Sure!
-King Kai:Hey Piccolo! You're right! My training style
IS lame! And so are my jokes!
-Goku: Gohan, your mother is right. You shouldn't go
into battle today. You have a test on Friday and I want
you to study!
-Chi Chi: Oh, Goku, let him go! It's only the SAT's!
-Captain Ginyu (sees Goku for the first time): What
a man! What a man! What a man! He's a mighty good man.
-Piccolo(singing): I'd like to be under the sea in an
octopus's garden in the shade.
-Frieza(during his exercise video): Now flex! Flex!
Flex those thighs, ladies.
-Vegeta: Seriously, Jewel's songs really touch my heart!
-Goku: Hey guys! ChiChi finally got a tub and shower!
No more bathing in a toxic waste barrel for me.
-Bulma: That's it! No more scientific crap for me...I'm
becoming a mountain man!
-Piccolo(singing): I'm a Caribbean amphibian. I like
to hot in the big blue sea. Caribbean amphibean. Won't
you sing along with me?
-Trunks: Mom! Dad's making me watch Cinderella for the
9th time today!
-Gohan: I am going to pursue my life long dream...to
become a ballerina!
-Buu: (singing) I don't care what my teachers say. I'm
gonna be a super model.
-Krillian: Has anyone seen my beagle Snoopy?
-Jeice: I remember when Zarbon and I were Wham...those
where the days.
-Bra: Daddy, will you have a tea party with me?
-Vegeta: Sure, only if I get the pink Barbie cup and
hold Besty Westy.
-Captain Ginyu: C'mon Vogue! Let your body move to the
-Freiza: I'm just a girl.
-Yamcha: If you want to be a first class scrub, look
here! Hi I'm Yamcha, and I know what it is like not
being understood by the female sex. If you buy my informational
video, I guarentee women willl be crawling all over
you. Order now!
-Goku: Man, I can't get the hang of this.
-Gohan: Daddy, what are you doing?
-Goku: Cooking 10 cans of Chunky soup. Why?
-Gohan: It might be better if you open the can first.
-Bulma: I must confess...I am Sailor Neptune and I am
in love with Haruka not Vegeta. (sobs)
(At an alcoholics anonymous meeting)
-Piccolo: Hello, I am Piccolo and I'm an alcohalic.
-Vegeta: (Singing) Stop in the name of love! Before
you break my heart!
-Bulma: I can bring home the bacon.
(From Kinzoku Ryuu (Metal Dragon) *AKA* Lutrin)
-Chi-Chi (singing): "I like 'em big and STUPID!"
-Gohan (flipping through channels): "Hey! I'm on
TV! Dad! C'mere and see this!"
-Chibi Trunks: "When I grow up, I wanna be just
like that Mirai no What's-his-name guy!"
-Japanese DBZ fan (to American fan): "This is Trunks.
His father is Vegeta... And guess who his mother is!
-American fan: "Oh! I know this! It's that Freiza
-Japanese fan: *screams*
(Oops, wait! This happened to me...)
-Pan: "Damnit! Why'd they have to put that part
at the end of GT?! I wanted to marry Trunks!"
-Pan: "Brittney Spears is my role model!"
-Freezer: "I'd kill those FUNmation executives
for making me gay, but one of 'em is REALLY hot."
-Freeza: "I give up."
-Goku: (To King Kai): "I got that pun! Make another
-Piccolo: "Dammit Gohan! Leave me the hell alone!"
-Dende: Taco Bell - Namek, Denda speaking
-Goku: Hi this is Goku, I'm phoning in an order fo rpickup
in a couple of hours. I would like 500 Grande meals
and 1 Choco taco.
-Dende: Wow! Having a party?
-Goku: What? No, This is my dinner, Chi-Chi's out of
town . . .
-Gohan: It's five o'clock! Time for some brewskies!
-Piccolo: It's ten o'clock, do you know where your children
-Chi-chi: Here's Goten.
-Goku: Gohan's over there.
-Videl: I've got Pan.
-Vegeta: um . . .
Page 1 - 2
- 3 - 4
- 5 - 6
- 7 - 8
- 9 - 10 - 11