DBZ Letters- Episode V: "The
Uninformed Strike Back!"
Lt. Jonathan "Underfaker"
First off, this is not going to be hate
mail. It may be disagreeing mail and may piss some people
off, but I like to encourage healthy debate.
There is nothing more annoying than people
who look down on DBZ fans. They call us "dubbies"
or the "uninformed". Shall I break this down
A) Dubbies- These are the people who have only seen
the dubbed episodes of DBZ and know nothing of future
episodes or what happens next in the story. This is
a bad thing? I'm sorry, but my idea of enjoying DBZ
is not watching bad fansubs with C+ quality. I admit,
the only episodes of DBZ that I have seen is everything
Cartoon Network has put out, a few episodes of the Android
Saga, a few episodes of the Majin Buu Saga and Movies
7, 8, 9, and 11. Any every episode I watched I utterly
hated. The people were blurry and the dialouge sounded
like total crap. Granted, there probably are better
tapes, but I don't feel like paying money for something
I know will be dubbed soon. Thats like asking me to
rent a movie that will be on HBO in two weeks.
"We know nothing of future episodes or what happens
next in the story." Yeah. So? Do you buy a book,
read the first few chapters then go straight to the
end? Patience is a very magical thing. Nothing ruins
a good story by already knowing how it ends. Hypothetical
scenario- Two people are watching DBZ, Freiza Saga.
One person knows that Goku will continue, Krillin dies
and Goku reaches Super Saiyan (Or Saiya-Jin for you
other people). The other person is a "dubbie"
and knows nothing of what happens next. Frieza has taken
the Genki Dama (Spirit Bomb) and survived. Who will
enjoy the next few episodes the most? The answer will
be the "dubbie", simply because you are on
an emotional rollercoaster. You see Freiza still alive
and your heart races and you wonder "Oh man...Goku
threw his best shot and Freiza took it!". It builds
suspense to unbelievable levels. When you see Krillin
die, your heart drops fifty miles because you know that
Goku might be next. Suddenly he goes ape sh*t nuts,
turns golden and becomes a Super Saiya-Jin!!! He proceeds
to thrash Freiza and all is right with the world. However,
the other person knows that Goku will turn Super Saiya-Jin
before Goku EVEN LEAVES EARTH. Where is the fun in that?!
No suspense, no hype, no excitement. It kills the joy.
Hell, you can even argue the same thing about if Goku
gets off Planet Namek. You know he survives, but how?!
HOW?! If you are the "dubbie" you spend days
in eager anticipation of discovering the truth. Mr.
Know-It-All simply rattles off the answer with no joy
and probably goes to his tape collection to watch it
in Super Bad Quality (SBQ).
Try an argument like this if you want to see my point-
Someone talks about how powerful the Kaioken attack
is. They say nothing can surpass its power. You quickly
inform the person of SSJ. Of course, since they haven't
seen the Freiza Saga, they know nothing of SSJ. You
immidiately dub the person a moron. Think of this- When
DBZ first debuted (I have no idea when...) Japanese
kids watched Vegeta vs. Goku for the first time. Goku
powers up Kaioken and trashes Vegeta. This was BEFORE
Freiza Saga appeared on any t.v. They would immidiately
think, "Wow, Kaioken is the strongest thing ever!"
And this would be true because they didn't know about
SSJ yet. Nobody did. So for a span of months, every
person that watched DBZ on its first run absolutely
KNEW that nothing was more powerful than Kaioken. Suddenly,
they see SSJ. Now every person that watched DBZ on its
first run absolutely KNEW that nothing was more powerful
than SSJ. Then Gohan becomes extremely pissed and hit
SSJ 2. NOW every person that watched DBZ on its first
run absolutely KNEW nothing was more powerful than SSJ
2. You can repeat this little game for SSJ 3 and SSJ
4. Hopefully you see my point by now.
B) The Uninformed- Now I can't stand up for the people
who get things or people wrong, because if they went
through the trouble of bringing it up, then they should
go through the trouble of getting it right. Like momma
used to say, "If you gonna do something right,
do it right the first time." However, don't instantly
condemn these people. If they got it right, big deal.
Correct them and move on. If we educate, then more people
can be enlightened. No one is perfect. And I know these
people because I used to be just like them. I mean,
you see a pic of Goten and you might instantly think
its Gohan if you didn't know any better. Or even if
you did know any better. I have a pic of Goku standing
behind a child that has gone SSJ, and I can't tell if
its Gohan or Goten! Once, I saw a pic of Vegeta and
Miari Trunks in SSJ form. I couldn't tell them apart!
They were both wearing armor! They both had golden spiked
hair. I literally couldn't tell them apart! So if someone
does say the wrong thing, don't look down on them. Take
it easy. Also keep it mind- Maybe they can't get fansub
DBZ. Maybe they don't have the money to or can't find
a reliable dealer. Chew on that.
This also brings me to the discussion "FUNimation
slaughtered DBZ those evil Nazi homophobic bastards/bitches"
(See, i'm into equality). I love this discussion because
there is so much to cry about!
1) "The voices are horrible" How do you figure
that? Its not the end of the world. I loved Brian Drummond's
(Vegeta's) voice from Season 1 & 2. People cried
over the Internet, "That voice is horrible! That
sounds nothing like Vegeta! He sounds like a wuss!"
The voice was not horrible. And of course he sounds
nothing like Vegeta...maybe its because HE DIDN'T DO
THE ORIGINAL VOICE. And on my personal opinion, he did
not sound like a wuss. But thats my opinion. For some
reason, Goku's voice changed about 50 times during the
seasons... Muten Roshi had a great voice for an old
guy. I don't agree with the Season 3 "Colonel Sanders"
voice. But I have no power or control so too bad.
2) "They edit out violence/words/names/sayings
etc." Of course they edit out violence. This is
America. I know that doesn't make much sense, but censors
have more power than anything. And some parents (foolishly)
believe that animated violence is much worse than simulated
violence. But the American culture is MUCH more different
from Japanese culture and we have to respect that. Hell,
BRITISH culture is much more different than American.
In Japan, you can watch King Of The Deathmatch Wrestling
Tournament on primetime tv. In Britain, frontal nudity
of women is perfectly normal. We just have to accept
The names are changed to protect the innocent... :)
The names are changed and everyone pops a gasket. So
what if he went from Rikium to Recoome? Taurus to Turles?
Son Goku to Goku? BIG DEAL.
3) "I HATE THE NEW OPENING THEME SONG!!!"
Never before have I heard so many people complain about
an opening theme. I personally love "Rock The Dragon".
I love it 50 times more than "Head-Cha-La"
or "We Got Power". It has a cool opening riff
and the guitar solos rule. When I watch "Head-Cha-La",
I feel as if I am watching a TRUE 8-year old's cartoon.
"We Got Power" is good too. "Rock The
Dragon" has 7 words. Big deal. That is not a bad
thing. American people have very short attention spans.
We go crazy over catchphrases and fads. A theme song
like "Head-Cha-La" or "We Got Power"
would not go over well because its too long. On a side
note, I like the opening theme for Rurouni Kenshin (and
yes, I DO KNOW that it changes later in the series,
but since I haven't heard the others, I can't really
dispute this love).
It seems as if I am now the new spokesperson of the
uninformed. In fact, I don't know somethings about DBZ/DBGT
that maybe you "holier than thou dubbies"
people can help me out with!
1) If Radditz was ever brought back (why is that?) and
he trained hard enough, if he went SSJ, would he automatically
go SSJ 3 because of his hair length? Would his hair
grow incredibly short? If not and he only went SSJ,
then if he went SSJ 2, would his hair grow even longer
than Goku's at SSJ 3? C'mon...
2) Allright, what the hell is Vegeta saying? "I'll
just use my (insert name here) and blow the whole thing
up!" Is it Gallet, Gallick, Galaxy, Garlic...what
the hell is the name of his Gun?!
3) On a similar note, why can't anyone agree on a universal
name for somebody? Goku/Gokuu/Gokuh? Vegeta/Vegita/Bejeeta?
Brolly/Broili/Buroli? Freeza/Freiza/Freezer? Saiya-Jin/Saiyan?
Radditz/Raditz? The only way I know how to resolve this
is by using the FUNimation names because they are the
only ones that remain consistent. That would mean Goku
would stay Goku (not Gokuh or Gokuu), Vegeta would be
Vegeta (Not Vegita or Bejeeta), and Freiza would remain
Freiza (Not Freeza or Freezer). This all came about
because of fansubs, so its best to stay with the people
who make the show (FUNimation and Saban).
4) Why is it when everyone makes a list of Saiya-Jins
that survived the Planet Vegeta's destruction no one
includes Turles (Taurus)? We always hear Goku, Vegeta,
Nappa, Radditz, Brolly and Paragus survive, but never
Taurus? Also, are Goku and Turles related? Tree Of Might
does not give a very good explaination. "We are
both lower class soldiers." I'm also a college
student, but I don't look like the person that sits
beside me in Physics. The similarity has to be twins.
Is it? Clone maybe? Just don't say coincidence!
5) Vegeta goes Super Saiya-Jin, but doesn't have a pure
heart. He once said, "Its pure...PURE EVIL!"
Does that apply? Does the person have to be pure good?
Can they be pure evil and go SSJ? ARGH!
6) Why doesn't Raditz get the accolades he deserves?
He is a person in DBZ that beat the living hell out
of BOTH Piccolo and Goku, then ends up (inadvertantly)
killing Goku! Freiza couldn't kill Goku. Cell kills
Goku, but only because Goku wants it that way (And I
still believe he could have
teleported out of there in time) and Gohan has to save
Goku's bacon...again! I mean, can he get a little bit
more respect? He is called a weakling and a coward.
Not so. He took on Piccolo and Goku head on and almost
won if Gohan hadn't saved them.
7) Why wasn't Raditz ever wished back to life? I'm sure
if Vegeta could reform than Raditz could too. Also,
why does Raditz lie to Goku by saying Planet Vegeta
was hit by a comet, rather than say Freiza blew it up?
He knew about it- Vegeta told him and Nappa!
8) Why couldn't Shen Lon destroy the Saiyans? Don't
tell me he can't grant a wish that exceeds Kami's power!
If he can bring people back from the dead, he should
be able to bump somebody off.
9) Are people on DBZ as stupid as they really seem?
Did NOBODY have the idea to take Dende back to Freiza's
ship to heal Goku so that the battle might have went
differently? He would have still gone SSJ (If he didn't
kill Freiza before Freiza hit Form 4) and Krillin got
10) Okay, how in God's name (Or should I say Kami's
name?) does Goku and Vegeta keep their hair standing?
Goku trains in 100 TIMES EARTH'S NORMAL GRAVITY and
his hair stays up. He stays submerged in water of nearly
an hour and it still stands up! Vegeta trains in 300
TIMES EARTH'S NORMAL GRAVITY and his hair still stays
straight! What the hell?!
11) Does it bother anybody that Vegeta and Bulma never
get married? They have a kid and Mirai Trunks says,
"They never got married...I don't think mom liked
that idea." Did they end up getting married?!
12) Does SSJ 4 even qualify as Super Saiya-Jin? The
hair doesn't turn gold, their get evil eyes, a tail
pops out and they grow red fur! They also become insanely
powerful. So...is SSJ 1-3 really Super Saiya-Jin or
is SSJ 4 not? Does SSJ 4 make you a legendary Super
13) What the hell is up with Ultra Super Saiya-Jin?
This is supposedly a form between SSJ and SSJ 2 that
only Miari Trunks and Brolly achieve. Wouldn't it stand
to reason since it is a new form that it should be classified
as SSJ 2, bringing the count of SSJ forms to 5? And
its a form that increases your power but decreases your
speed...whatever. I didn't see Brolly's speed decrease
when he was beating the hell out of every DBZ character.
14) You always hear of Gotenks going SSJ then SSJ 3.
Does he hit SSJ 2? Why does he get to skip it?!
15) Could we come up with a longer name for Cell? Ultra
Perfect Cell doesn't seem good enough.
16) Why doesn't Gohan turn SSJ when he is Super Saiyaman?
It would be a lot easier to conceal his identity with
a new hair color and new eye color. When he fights the
giant demon creature he shoots at it, but not as SSJ!
17) Gohan is rumored to be the most powerful person
in DBZ..that lasts until he hits SSJ 2. Why? This is
the kid that had a powerlevel that nearly quadrupled
his dad's power when he got mad! But he can't be bothered
to go SSJ 3? School ain't that important. Is Goten and
Trunks as powerful as he is? They hit SSJ at an early
18) Why does Gohan's tail keep growing back? Does it
quit when he gets older? Is it because he is human/Saiyan?
Why doesn't Trunks have a tail? Or Goten? How come?!