The Dubbies Speak Out
By Joseph A.
Listen up and listen good, because
Im only going to say this once. Im sure
my opinions have been stated time and again, but apparently
they cant be stated enough, because the general
public refuses to either open their brains to other
peoples opinions, or grow a brain at all. Now,
Im sure the vast majority of you would call me
a "dubbie" however much I resent the term.
It is true, the only Dragonball Z episodes that I have
seen are the FUNimation (Ill get to them in a
second) dubbed ones. First off, what the hell is wrong
with being a dubbie anyway? (Please note that I only
use dubbie for lack of a better term.) Its not
our fault. Really. Apply half a brain cell (Im
sure its hard work for some of you) to thinking
about why its our fault. If you come up with reasons
why it is, do me two small favors. First, continue reading
and think about it. Second, e-mail your opinions to
me at email@example.com. Anyway. If
we cant find subbed episodes, its not our
fault that there arent any vendors in a convenient
radius. What the f*ck are we supposed to do? Magically
create one from thin air? I think not. Or maybe were
just not interested. Ever think of that? We might, and
we might not. Maybe were actually happy with the
way things are and not interested in crusading against
the establishment. Also, dubbies are not dumb about
DBZ. Just because we havent seen the Japanese
episodes doesnt mean that were uneducated
about it. Thats where the Internet (the very means
that you are reading this by) comes in. There are sites
that can clue us in as to whatll happen in the
future of DBZ. We might just survive after all. And
even if we dont have access to the Internet, that
doesnt mean that well die from ignorance.
You people disgust me. Also, to those of you who agree
with me but say that theres no fun in knowing
whats happening next (Underfaker, this doesnt
apply to you), think of this. Lets use Super Saiyan
as an example. I may know that sometime between now
and then, Goku will indeed turn Super Saiyan. But what
happens in between? Huh? What? So there. Next topic.
The voices. Ok. Again this goes
back to the fact that we dubbies havent seen the
Japanese DBZ episodes. We just cannot pass judgement
on whether the Japanese or American voices are better.
I am sick and tired of hearing the debate. If you must
debate it, debate in your circles, not in the public
forum. Could it be possible that you could be developing
an unfounded bias in us dubbies, when we, if we want
to judge them for ourselves, and do it accurately, should
not have? We can however pass judgement on American
Season 1&2 vs. Season 3 voices. By and large, I
prefer the first two seasons. Chi-chi, Ox-King, Master
Roshi, Bulma, Yajirobe, Oolong, and Recoome (for what
short amount of time hes in Season 3) bother me.
I know, all of them are insignificant characters, but
thats my opinion. Next topic.
FUNimation. Oh boy. Now listen.
All of you. For the most part, the editing is not FUNimations
fault. Sure, they left out a few tears and Gohan making
graves and the whole existence of Piccolo Daimoah, and
thats just plain lazy. But lets face it,
folks, with all the graphic violence and language and
flipping off that goes on in Japanese DBZ, there isnt
a snowballs chance in hell that we can get completely
uncensored DBZ in America. Not unless we can get rid
of the republicans (which would resolve so many of the
problems we have today). We live in a puritanical, republican
dominated society, and unless that changes, there aint
a damn chance we can get uncensored DBZ. If youre
that possessed, than go and fork over the money for
subbed DBZ of varying quality. Im not that obsessed.
And finally, I leave you with
a question. And this is to those who I guess could be
called "subbies." Why the hell do you think
you are so abusive to us dubbies? If any one of you
can come up with a really good answer, Ill put
it in another essay.
Until you offend me again,
The Dark Saiyan
(aka Joseph A.)
PS: Many thanks go out to Jonathan
Lindsey, aka The Underfaker.