Same deal as last week, this will be
cut down considerably, as I am still working on the
"BIG ONE" so I am sorry in advanced for the
half effort on my part, I will make up for it in time.
Why Vegeta Has A Problem......
By A Dawg
Ive been doing a little thinking. There has been
far too many editorials about little incidents in this
slum and about the Dubs and Subs; myself included. What
is this site about? DBZ. It isnt SonySucks.com
or Leavedubbiesalone.com, its MajinGohan.com. Why not
make an Editorial about, hey, here is an idea, DBZ!
What a concept!!! Jesus Marimba Im smart!! I came
up with it all by myself! Show your love!! So with this
BRAND SPANKING NEW idea comes the first little addition
of this little series. Who better to start it off then
with Vegeta. This is brand new to me, if you like it,
cool if you dont like it, cool. This is just a
way for me to get away from this little slum we have,
and all the time I am spending on covering it. So why
not start out with someone I can relate with, jackass
wise. Vegeta. This man is so angry, and with good reason
damnit! I mean he always, and I mean ALWAYS gets his
ass beat, Freeza, Gokou, Rekium, Android 18, Cell, Cell
Jr, Cell again and Buu. Getting beatin and killed by
a white gay lizard with a big ass tail and purple lipstick
is enough to drive anyone towards the insanity! Jesus
Marimba! He needs to deal with Bulma, while not a bitchy
as Chi-Chi, at least Chi-Chi is attached to Gokou. Vegeta
is just getting sloppy seconds with her, well maybe
sloppy sixths. Having his pride stomped on by Gokou,
Cell, and hell even Android 18. Do you remember that
shit?? She beat the hell out of him. She wasnt
constantly talking like in the dub. She just had that
"I am beating your short ass, and there is nothing
you can do about it" type of confidence. And the
spandex. Ohhh the spandex. You wonder why he is always
uptight. Hotdamn, is that spandex cutting off circulation
to his body? Or is that how he keeps that tiny little
figure? What? What is it? Can someone tell me? Dont
give me that aerodynamic crap, because I aint
buying it. I am going to give you my thesis on a these
many questions and statements and more. I just hope
those Vegeta fanatics dont letter or IM bomb me.
You crazy kids and your technology!
Ohh where do I start? The Hair, the beatdowns, the
crying? I think Ill start with the most obvious
subject. His pride. This guy has a lot of pride for
someone who gets his ass beat on the regular. Am I wrong,
I think not. Lets look at some classic Vegeta beatdowns.
Gokou: This was not as bad as some of the other ones,
but the end of the one on one battle was just nasty.
I mean damn, Gokou went to Kaioken and it was all over.
He layeth the smacketh down on his candy ass. I mean
lord, the shots to the gut were vicious. He couldnt
get a hit off. Got beat down for a little then he decided
"Hell this lowclass sayi-jin is beating my ass,
so hey why not just blow up the planet!!" (::coughPLOTHOLEcough,cough::)
So with little time for Kakkaroto to prepare, he used
the Kamehameha, charged up the Ki, were at a deadlock,
went to Kaioken X4, and blew his ass and that fake pride
to the moon. We all know what happened next, so I wont
repeat it. So Vegeta what was that crap about all that
Sayi-jin Super Elite there? You know his father was
crying his eyes off in hell. He got that crap from somewhere,
it must run in the family. Man he just broke him down,
which was the first step in the decimation of his pride.
Next Zarbon: He beat him, plain and simple. Cut and
dry, broke him down. Freeza: Good god, this is a sure
fire contender for worst Vegeta ass whooping of all
time. I mean damn. Where the hell is your pride you
sayi-jin pussy?!? Oh wait maybe it is over there mixed
in with blood, honor, teeth, dignity, and tears? Maybe
you should check in that pile it has to be there some
where. I mean damn, how can someone who has all this
pride and honor, get stomped like that? The whole "I
am a super sayi-jin" bit was pretty pathetic. The
fact that he was crying before Freeza even started to
get in him was even worse. I almost wanted Freeza to
just leave him alone. Sure Vegeta was talking shit the
whole time, but no one deserves the thrashing he got.
No one does as far as I am concerned. The Back shots,
the head butts the tail whips, the everything. The worst
part is when was getting throttled and he looked up
at Freeza and he was crying!!! The so called "Bad
Ass" was crying like a bitch!! Can you really look
me in the face and tell me Vegeta is the best character
in DB? If you do I will kindly pull back, and clock
you in your face. What Freeza did was wrong and horrible,
and like I said Vegeta.... nobody deserved that type
of beating. But if anyone had to get it, my vote would
go to Vegeta. Freeza was simply Vegetas pimp.
He used him since he was a child. Killed his father,
his entire race, yet he still worked for him. Vegeta
got uppity, and Freeza quickly came back with a colossal
sized pimp slap end our sayi-jin princes life.
He beat Gohan. He beat 19...... quite ruthlessly, all
that pepped up aggression I guess. Now onto what was
probably the second worst thuging he has received. Enter
Artificial Human 18. This was just....... embarrassing.
The first part of it wasnt so bad, besides the
fact that she was toying with him, and he didnt
know it. Then it got ugly. Vegeta started to get tired.
I knew he was going to get done in by the looks of it.
Uhh oh. ::BAM:: shot to the face, Vegeta staggers. Dodges
a punch and a kick or two, then ::thwop:: forearm. Piccolo,
Krillin, Tenshinhan and Trunks knew what was happening.
::WAP:: punch before Vegeta even tries to retaliate.
It is officially ugly ladies and gentleman. This when
she goes to town. Trunks sees that his father is getting
his ass beat (again) and is about to jump in, but it
is to late. He gets his arm broken in one of the worst
scenes I have ever seen in DBZ. The way his glare slowly
fades into a look of shock and horror is displayed perfectly.
I mean I guess he has perfected the art of being beat
down to the "T" Huh? Trunks to the rescue!!
::Shink:: uh oh ::SMACK::......... damn. Runs in the
family huh Trunks? Vegeta wasnt satisfied, he
wanted to be hurt even more so he decided to try to
make a little come back. But no, he just got hurt, even
more. If Vegeta has anything, it is a high tolerance
to pain, I will give him that much. OK, OK Semi-Perfect
Cell caught a pretty bad beat down. There is that Sayi-jin
pride homeboy!! Well that didnt last long did
it? No it didnt. Low and behold; Perfect Cell!!!!
This was not even a fight. Sure that Final Flash was
bad ass, but Cell soon regenerated, and almost killed
him. Trunks saved him. Trunks looses. Do you see a theme
here? Everyone trains and relaxes for 10 days. Chillin
and a little bit of illin. Now witness Cell Jr. He didnt
get his behind handed to him, like before, but he sure
as hell didnt win that little skirmish. Ultra
Perfect Cell: First he kills his rival, then he kills
his son, then he makes a bad joke about it?!? Ohh no
Veggie-san isnt gonna stand for this!! He goes
nuts!! Just in a rage to satisfy his almost non-existent
pride. Good for him!! Wait no, he gets put into a 10
minute coma, with one punch. I have no respect for Vegeta
anymore. Wait whats that?? Im sorry Gohan?
Did he just say that?? Vegetable head did not just say
that.... maybe he did, could there be hope for him yet?
YES!!!!! GOOD JOB!! Good shot!!! You broke Cell down,
now let your rivals son defeat the monster who
single handily beat you and your son twice. Thata boy!!!
7 years pass. Majin Vegeta vs. Gokou. First of all Gokou
could have wiped the floor with him, and just gone SSJ3
on him, but he didnt. It was a tie before he got
that cheap shot in. Whatever. Against Buu, he finally
realized he couldnt beat...... anyone, so he gave
up and self-destructed, using his ultimate final skill
attack (thank you Ultimate DBZ Info site....) I wont
go into GT, besides the fact that I know nothing about
it besides he fused with bebi or some shit like that,
and couldnt go ssj4 with out some brute ray, and
I dont feel like it is truly apart of the DB timeline
since Toriyama San didnt mean the series to go
on after the Buu saga (actually the Freeza saga, but
that is an entirely different story..)
So what does this bootleg fight by fight summary tell
you? That Vegeta really should have NO pride left, after
the horrible beatings and embarrassment he cought. I
figured that in GT he wouldve been picking daisies
in the capsule corporation garden all day.
The Problems: Vegeta has a lot of problems. Lets
start with the obvious: The Spandex. Good god the spandex.
How does he even get into them? Dont they hurt
in that...... private area? For someone so manly, he
sure doesnt seem to have a problem in wearing
enough skin tight clothing to be the next big thing
in the Euro-crap trend. Does he feel that maybe having
his clothes so tight, he can trap his pride and dignity
in so they will never leave? Sorry that boat has sailed
long ago in that sea of blood and tears. I have a thesis.
I know why Vegeta first went SSJ. When all those asteroids
messed him up...... it cut the spandex. Did you see
it? Well, I believe that, the spandex was slowing him
down mentally and physically. Since he was able to breath
perfectly again, and feel his crouch, it was a new and
powerful sensation to him!! He then went SSJ, not out
of anger like TOEI and Funi want you to believe, but
because he could finally be able to move and breathe
without the restraints of the spandex. That is what
I believe. Next: The pink shirt. I knew that getting
served by Freeza would have some long term mental effects
on the guy but damn, not like this!! You know that if
he had this "Pride" he always speaks of he
would never have put on that ridiculus crap. "Badman"
and boy do we believe it! Was he seriously going out
to fight Freeza like that? He couldve at least
borrowed one of Yamchaus Gis or something.
Hell even Dr. Briefs labcoat wouldve been better
then that! Freeza and his Father wouldve laughed
their sweet asses off upon looking at our boy Vegeta.
They would probably beat him up but not murder him because
he was simply to pretty to kill. Even Trunks was looking
that fruity shirt! I know I know, that whole "Ive
never seen my father before" thing but you know
he was thinking "Wow, this is my dad!? Who knew
he was so..... gay??". Next: Anger Management.
Why is everything Kakkarots fault? Hmm? Somebody
let me know how it was Kakkarots fault by Cell
killing his son? How was it Kakkarots fault that
he is so strong? How is it Kakkarots fault that
he is so short? How is it Kakkarots fault that
was able to get Chi Chi, while he gets the village bike?
Vegeta, stop blaming everything on Kakkarot!! Now there
are certain things he should be angry about. Taking
apart of his pride is one of them. Not killing Freeza
is another one. Which brings me to my next point. Why
does Vegeta never kill, and I mean NEVER KILL, someone
who he really wants to kill? Gokou, Freeza, Cell, Buu,
and 18. OK not killing your rival is bad enough, but
your rival killing someone you hate even more is worse.
Let me take you through a little bit of DBZ, Vegeta
side of the story. I am going to be immortal. YAY. I
am so happy. Wait Kakkarot is stronger then me. Oh crap.
He and his little midget friends beat me. I will kill
Kakkarot!! Uhh I will kill these bums, then uhh oh here
come the ginyu force. I am going to be immortal, I will
kill Guldo, YAY I did!!! Now Rekium, no wait, he beat
me down too!! I WILL KILL Rekium, yay I did!! Freeza
thinks he is tough and he..... is. Oh crap. He just
killed me YAY I got wished back. Oh wait Freeza is still
alive! I get another chance to kill him! No wait, someone
has come up, who is even stronger then him and me and
kills him........ Kuso!!! He is a SSJ too, and I am
not!! Aww Ill just kill this fat white doll looking
freak and then his wrinkled compatriot!! No wait, damn
that little punk kid killed him!!! OK I will just kill
this cute little blonde. Oh no, I am getting stomped.
Whoops there is my arm!! I will kill her!!! No I wont,
I will kill Cell!! HA HA I am stronger then him. I will
let him get perfect like a moron!! Yay.... no, uhh He
just knocked me out. I will Kill Cell!!! No Kakkarot
is obviously stronger then me, so I will let him do
his thing. We are screwed, he just gave up. Gohan, he
is gonna get killed, awe well. No he is not, so not
only has Kakkaroto surpassed me, so has his son. Life
isnt fair. Oh no, he just killed me son, Cell
that is, I will KILL CELL..... umm no I wont,
I will get put into a coma, and Gohan has to save me.
That sucks. Gohan Kills cell, that isnt fair..................
Get the point? Good. Next Bulma: ::WAHPISH:: this man
is so whipped it isnt funny, but why? The sex,
if not then what? Why not capture yourself a beautiful
female or something. No you gotta pick Bulma. Freeza
spent so much time convicing him that he was stupid
and weak, that he started believing it himself.... Oh
sorry, wrong funny series. Anywho, why Bulma, you know
why? He needs someone to take control. He wants to feel
appreciated, and the only way he can do that is by doing
Bulma sexual favors, and whatnot. No one gives a rats
ass about Veggie-chan. They realized that he was useless
and he has either pride or dignity left. He was the
laughing stock of the Z solider... community (I guess).
So instead like what was previously been reported, Bulma
only uses Vegeta, because going SSJ in the bed has some
benefits =). Vegeta has right to be angry and that is
all there is too it. A Dawg7484@aol.com tell me what
you thought about this. Adios untill next week. ::sighs::
Castor Troy is gonna have my head......................
Updates, Quote, Plugs, Q&A, T Us and F Us
Namco is making Tekken Tag Tournament and Ridge Racer
for the GameCube. I am still crying in joy. Yay!!!!!!
Umm on that whole "Why people see the need to
be smart" editorial, replace the "SMELL WHAT
THE ROCK" to "SMELL WHAT THE JERK IS COOKIN!!!"
If you want this big editorial, then bug Chris Psaros,
and MrE. I wont do it with out their input.
My dubbie name will be shatered when one of my best
friends on the internet is sending me some Japanese
DBZ tapes. I love her with all my might, and well, its
been nice being a dubbie, but there is a time where
we must all...... move on. My time is now. Adios amigos,
its been real, but I am going to a better place
now.......... stay strong.
Site Plug of the week: TIE Between Savage Z and SCCC:
I am sorry, but it was too close to call. Savage Z probably
wouldve taken it unless I hadnt gone an
ruined it by making a retarded what if entry. Savage
Z is maybe the most unappreciated site around and well,
it needs hits, and friendly comments. SCCC is on here
because I just got finnished watching that Flash Movie
of Mike Vs. the Gay Popoites!! That is maybe the funniest
thing I have ever seen. Two quality sites. Two different
webmasters. You choose.
Quote: "The people who believe they know it all,
annoy those who really do"
I saw this at a clothing store (Kinda of a weird place
to find a quote like that huh?) Well I thought it went
perfect for this editorial since I know nothing and
you guys know everything.
Q&A: None this week, Maybe next week, the e-mail
is getting low folks, where is the love lol???
Lena: For being the nicest person I have ever met on-line,
and being as crazy and as funny (even more so, but that
doesnt take much effort) as me. Thank you =)
MG: For once again being a pimp, and letting me defile
Gohan on your site HA .>=)
I missed this last week but Snoel something or other,
I cant remember the entire name, on aol, who is
a moron, and thought that the Raichi OVA was the "Lost
Movie". I laugh at you, dont explode from
thinking to hard now.
Chris Psaros and Mr. E- Answer my questions please!!!!!!!
Umm maybe I shouldnt have put them in the F---
you area huh? Aww well Ill get over it. Adios.