DBZ Goes on Sally Jessy Raphael!

By Violet Rose-chan

DBZ goes on Sally Jessy Raphael!!!!

Sally: Hello and welcome to the Sally Show, todays topic is Aliens who kick butt. Our first guest is Vegeta. He claims to be the Prince of the Saiyans.
Vegeta: CLAIMS?! I AM THE PRINCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sally: Ok, well Vegeta you say your planet was destoyed by an evil monster named Freiza?
Vegeta: yup.
Sally: Ok, we have some more saiyan blood, please meet Goku, Gohan, Goten, Trunks, Bra, & Pan.
The 6 saiyans come on stage while the audience cheers.
Trunks: Sweet, I'm on T.V.! Hey everybody, I'm on T.V.!!!
Pan: We can see that Trunks.
Trunks: hahahaha...haha......ha.......
Sally: .........Ok. So, what makes saiyans different from humans?
Goku: Weve got tails.
Vegeta: And we turn into giant apes in the full moonlight. We destroy planets for money.
Goku: Yeah and...
Vegeta: Shut up Kakkarot, I'm talking right now.
Goku: My names not Goku it's Kakkarot, oh wait a second......
Vegeta: Hehehe
Goku: My name is Goku.
Gohan: Du'h.
Sally: All right we'll be back after this.
Kid1: Hey look,it's trimp man.
Kid2: Let's pour him a bowl!
Trunks: It's my most secret disguise, and they fell for it. The way I fall for the raspberry reds, blueberry blues, and all the other crappy flavors in new Trimps. Uh,oh......
Kid1: Hey, your not Trimps man!
Kid2: Your Trunks!
Anouncer: Try the all new crappy cereal,Trimps! Not part of this complete breakfast!
Coming soon,to a theatre near you,it's the all new...SAILOR MOON MOVIE!!!!
Kids: Fighting evil by moonlight!
Anouncer: Enjoy the sucky all American live action Disney movie version of season one of Sailor Moon. And you thought DiC screwed up Sailor Moon enough! So,get in the(very short)line for The Sailor Moon movie! And just to increase sales,with the purchase of a movie ticket get a free charizard holo!!! Were serious (WB gonna sue us!)
Back to show--
Sally: Okay, our next guest is a Namek. Please welcome, Piccolo.
Piccolo: Nice to be here Sally, I think.
Sally: Now, Piccolo, it says here your planet was destroyed by the same person who destroyed the planet Vegeta?
Piccolo: Well, technicaly, no. See I was really born on Earth, it was my father who came from Namek.
Sally: What about your Mother?
Piccolo: Mother? I uhhh.....never had a mother.
:::audience makes aweing sounds of pity for Piccolo::::
Sally: Yes, maa'm you have a question?
Lady: Yeh, I got a question For Vegetable boy over there, if this evil thing be destroyin' planets an all, you actin' so tough, why don't you go kick his ass?
Vegeta: He was already destroyed by my son.
Lady: So, you need your lil' ol' boy to do your dirty work,hm? Is dat it,big boy?
Vegeta: Why you..........
Lady: You want a piece O' me,huh? Come and get it, shorty.
Vegeta: Alright, that does it.......
Goku: Vegeta, count to 10.
Vegeta: with clenched teeth::: 1.............2.............................3
Lady: Oh, whatsa matta? You scared of me?
Vegeta: No, I'll take care of you after the show.
Lady: Fine, it's a fight to the death.
Sally: Wait a second, does this look like the Jerry Springer?
Vegeta: no.....
Sally: Alright, we were with Piccolo, you said you had no mother?
Piccolo: Yeah, so?
Vegeta: Wait, I never had a mother either!
:::Audience makes more pity sounds:::::
Sally: Well, Vegeta, we have a surprise for you, Vegeta meet your Mother!
Vegeta: NANI?!?!?!?!?!
:::::And old woman walks on stage, she has gray hair, a pink dress, a walker and a poodle with a collar that says "Cuddles":::::::
Vegeta: What? This isn't my mother! This is a human!!!
Woman: O' Vegeta my boy come here and give mommy a kiss!
Vegeta: Stay away from me!
Sally: Excuse me, ma'am no pets aloud on the set!
Woman: Oh, please don't take my Cuddles away! She's all I've had since I was reunited with my baby!!!
Vegeta: I'm not your son!
Sally: Oh, fine.
Vegeta: Wait, I've seen your show many times,don't you give blood tests?
Goten: You watch talk shows Vegeta?
Sally: Well, yeah.....
Vegeta: I want to be tested! I want proof this old cook is my mother!
Woman: Oh, you always were the stubborn one, Vegeta.
Vegeta: What do you mean, one?
Woman: Oh, you didn't know? You've got a sister!
Vegeta: NANI?!?!?!?!
Pan: This keeps getting better by the minute.
Sally: Alright we'll be taking them backstage to be tested and we'll have the results at the end of the show.
::::Another Commercial:::::
Master Roshi is in a babies oufit.
MR: Googoo gaga,talk to baby.Baby gonna cry if you don't talk to baby.
Gohan: I thought people got smarter when they got older.
Syrup: Hell, no.
::ANOUNCER: Mrs. Cusingworth,does she only cuss at kids?
Syrups: You bet your ass!
::Goku walks upto the FUNimation logo butt naked.::
Goku:Hmm hmm hmm, Hm?
Vegeta:We all do dumb things.
::Goku is shown with digital underpants on him::
Vegeta: Paying too much for mangas shouldn't have to be one of them.
Goku: Oh...
Vegeta: ViZ, the mangas FUNimation never touched.
Sally: Welcome back to the show. Our next guest claims to be Vegeta's sister, please welcome Velveeta!
::::A young girl with black hair, black eyes, looks to be about 13 comes on stage::::
Sally: Hello, and welcome to the show.
Velveeta: Nice to be here.
Bra: Cool! I've got an Aunt!
Sally: How did you get the idea you were Vegeta's sister?
Velveeta: Well Sally, I have visions, see.It's like a 6th sense. One night I had a vision of a royal family being killed by a hermaphodite. I knew then, I was a saiyan princess.
Sally: ..............uh................yeah. You have a question.
Teenager: Yeah, my question is for Trunks, will you go out with me?
Trunks: No.
Teenager: Why, am I ugly?
Trunks: No, because your a guy.
Teenager: But, youv'e got purple hair and you look gay, are you gay?
Trunks: NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :::Blasts guy to next dimension,audience starts chanting "Sally,Sally"
Piccolo: Wait a minute, what about me?
Sally: Are there any questions for Piccolo?
:::Silence,cricket chirping noises::::
Piccolo: ::::cusses under his breath in Namek:::::
TO BE CONTINUED!!Doesn't that just suck? You finnaly get to a good part and......who am I kidding? I SUCK!E-mail me at BulmaDragon1@aol.com,Please don't tell me I suck,I already know it. But, part 2 wil be out soon, beleive me. -.-''