The Dragonball Olympics
AKA: The result of a kangaroo pouncing on me and telling
me to "represent Sydney, yo".
<That annoying Olympic music plays
in the background as the announcer speaks>
Announcer: "You've tuned
in to the Dragon Ball Olympics: 2000! And now,
here is your master of ceremonies, arriving by jet plane
Announcer: "The MC for
the Olympics is none other than the man who won the
most gold medals last year....."
Announcer: "....MISTER SATAN!!!!'
Mr. Satan: "OHOHOHOHOHO!
The World Champion and master Olympian has arrived!
Now, let us begin the Parade of Nations!"
Mr. Satan: "Well, we only
have one nation represented. All the other countries
dropped out when they saw who would be competing.
Team Japan! As you can see, this year we have
a circus theme!"
Z-Gang: "Yeahhh, woohoo!
We're #1, we're #1!"
Mr. Satan: "Leading the
team is Captain Son Goku! He's the doofus riding
on the first car of the train."
Goku: "I'm the conductor
of the train! Wheeee! *blows the horn*"
Mr. Satan: "There you
have it! The, uh..rather short Parade of Nations.
Right now, we're about to go into the torch lighting
ceremony, but first, here's a short documentary about
how the Olympic Committee decided who would have the
coveted job of actually lighting the torch."
<cut to video tape of the Olympic
Trunks: "As you all know,
we're doing an elaborate torch lighting ceremony this
Gohan: "Meaning, whoever
lights the thing will be getting involved in something
that could be potentially deadly."
Goku: "...we should find
someone useless and expendable to light the torch, just
in case something bad happens! I know just the
Goku: "Yoohoo, Goten!
Come over here! How would you like to light the
torch at the DBZ Olympics?"
Goten: "WHAT, you want
ME to do it!? What an honor, dad! Thank
you so much! I'd be happy to do it!"
Trunks, Gohan and Piccolo:
Goten: "What are you guys
<end of video tape>
Mr. Satan: "And now, Son
Goten shall light the torch! The idea is that
he'll ride this bus up the ramp, and then light the
big golden Goku statue."
Goten: *gulp* "Umm...how
come I only found out the method of lighting this thing
NOW?! I've changed my mind! I don't wanna
Mr. Satan: "But think
of your country, your pride...and all the hot babes
you'll score if you do it!"
Goten: "Hey...that's right!
Ok! In the name of cute chicks everywhere, I shall
light the torch!"
Mr. Satan: "Alrighty, launch
<the bus goes flying, and hurls
Goten towards the statue>
Goten: "You $@#!$@$@#%^#$@!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
<begin No-Budget Special Effects>
Mr. Satan: "He did it!
The torch has been lit! What a beautiful sight!"
Goten: "I'm burning, BURNING!!!
Oh the humanity!!! My gorgeous bod is now tarnished!"
Mr. Satan: "With the lighting
of the Olympic torch....LET THE GAMES BEGIN!!!!"
Yes, let them games begin right here!