Goku- Hello, you've reached Son Goku at 1-900-HOT-THUG!  Wanna find out if *all* of me goes Super Saiyajin?  Press 1 to find out! Huh?  Chi-Chi!?  Get out of here, can't you see I'm busy! .....No, I'm not making those crazy phone messages again, so leave me alone!  Hey, what are you doing with that frying pan?  Stay away from me! Ah!  Um, leave a message after the beep! <sound of frying pan hitting Goku resonates in the background> <beep!>

Gohan- Hiya, this is Son Gohan.  I'm not home right now......<mumbles under breath>...all because mom made me study again...damn mom......always making me do crap I don't wanna do...but I'll show her! Heheheheh, yeah...ahem!  Please leave your name and message after the tone... <mumbles again> after I kill my mother...heheheheheh...<beep!>

Piccolo- Hey, wassup wassup, 'dis is big pimp daddy Piccolo in da hoouuuuse!  Word!  'Dis thug ain't in da crib now, but if all y'all ladies and thugs out there wanna gimme da 411 on da streets, coo'.  Peace! <beep!>

Vegeta- This is Vegeta, what the f*ck do you want?  Actually.....let me tell you what I want.  I want long walks on the beach....preferably a Pisces, dinner under the stars, and most importantly....just someone to hold me.  <sniff sniff>  I want someone to love!   <beep!>

Trunks- Hi, this is Trunks, but I'm not home right now.  I'm in the woods chillin' with squirrels, but I'll be happy to call you when I get done playing with my special friends! <beep!>

Bulma- You've got Bulma, leave a message... to be honest, anyone can have Bulma, I'm serious!  Vegeta isn't doing it for me lately, so if you're male in between ages 12-59, give me a gooood long message ok? <beep!>

Krillin- <singing> The Incredible Bald Man is here to save the daaaaay!  I, the great Krillin, am not home right now.  But I'll get back to you as soon as I'm done making the world safer for bald men everywhere!  Hold on Tien, help is on the waaay!  <beep!>

Dr. Briefs- Uh, hello? Oh! It's recording! Um, you have reached the Capsule Corp. If you would like to--- <beep cuts him short>

Shenlong- <digital voice> You call is being answered by Powertell. <dragon's voice> The Eternal Dragon <back to digital voice> is unable to make your wish. Please leave your name and wish at the tone. And thank you for using Powertell for all your wishful calls. <annoying song beep>

Master Roshi- You have reached the Kame house. If you want to talk to Roshi, press 1. If you want to talk to Turtle, press 2. If you are a beautiful female, press 3. If you know that the world will end and would like me to summon the Z fighters, press 4. If this is Ba-Ba calling, hang up. <beep>

Freeza- Hey, this if Freeza, FUNimationized and ready for looooove. So if you're a guy, gimme a message, and maybe I'll let you come to my room
**kiss sound** <beep!>

#17- Juunana-gou here.  If you're calling in regards those guns thefts, I swear, I didn't do it!  I'm innocent I tell you, innocent!  You might want to call #16, though. He seems pretty suspicious! <beep!>

#18- This is #18, and I'll only listen to your messages if you're A) a bald, short guy or B) you're willing to give me clothes for free.  If these two things don't aply to you, please do me a favor and hang up the damn phone.  <beep!>

*NEW* #16- Hello. I am #16. If you are one of my squirrel friends, leave me a squeaky message. If you're Goku, leave me your access number, your serial number, your location, your social security number, your PIN number, your underwear inspector's number, what your wearing, what your eating, and everything else about you. <beep!> (from Tick)

*NEW* Fat Buu- Me Buu! Why you call me? I no here!! Talk to this thingy here and I will talk to it and it will talk like you, and then I'll talk to you. Buu go bang bang!! <beep!> (from Tick)

*NEW* Super Buu- Why are you still alive?! You should be dead! Ah, crap. Oh, well, leave your
name, number, and location after the beep, and I'll kill you later. <beep!> (from Tick)

*NEW* Kid Buu- Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!!!!!! Hee hee hee ho ho ho hoho!!!!!! Ah, ha ha ha ha ha haha ha ha haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <beep!> (from Tick)